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Table of Contents > Holidays or Holy Days: Does It Matter Which Days We Observe?

2009-11-20T19:23:00.001-07:00

Table of Contents > Holidays or Holy Days: Does It Matter Which Days We Observe?

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Voice of The hidden Romantic

2009-11-17T20:30:00.001-07:00

"It's 4:03 A.M. and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew"

Voice of the Hidden Romantic

2009-11-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

"It's 4:03 and I can't sleep Without you next to me I Toss and turn like the sea If I drown tonight, bring me Back to life Breathe your breath in me The only thing that I still believe In is you, if you only knew"

The Worlds Most Prestigous Coffee

2009-11-15T20:15:00.002-07:00

At the base of the Himalayan Mountains grows the Kopicillac tree.
Upon this tree grows the worlds most prestigous coffee known as
Kopicillac. In these trees also lives the tree cat. The tree cats
eat the Kopicillac beans and then defficate. The locals gather up
these defications and process them. It is the combination of the
gastric juices from the tree cat and the remaining residue from
the Kopicillac that gives this coffee its distinct aroma.

NASA can't detect all earthbound asteroids

2009-08-16T20:38:00.002-06:00

US study finds that NASA cannot meet goal of spotting nearly all Earth-threatening asteroids

- - NASA is charged with seeking out nearly all the asteroids that threaten Earth but does not have the money to do the job, a U.S. government report says.

That is because even though Congress assigned the space agency this mission four years ago, it never gave NASA money to build the necessary telescopes, the new National Academy of Sciences report says. Specifically, NASA has been ordered to spot 90 per cent of the potentially deadly rocks hurtling through space by 2020.

Even so, NASA says it has completed about one-third of its assignment with its current telescope system.

NASA estimates that there are about 20,000 asteroids and comets in our solar system that are potential threats to Earth. They are larger than 460 feet (140 metres) in diameter - slightly smaller than a sports stadium in New Orleans. So far, scientists know where about 6,000 of these objects are.

Rocks between 460 feet and 3,280 feet (1,000 metres) in diameter can devastate an entire region but not the entire globe, said Lindley Johnson, NASA's manager of the near-Earth objects program. Objects bigger than that are even more threatening, of course.

Just last month astronomers were surprised when an object of unknown size and origin bashed into Jupiter and created an Earth-sized bruise that is still spreading. Jupiter does get slammed more often than Earth because of its immense gravity, enormous size and location.

Disaster movies like "Armageddon" and near misses in previous years may have scared people and alerted them to a serious issue. But when it comes to doing something about monitoring the threat, the academy concluded "there has been relatively little effort by the U.S. government."

And the U.S. government is practically the only government doing anything at all, the report found.

"It shows we have a problem we're not addressing," said Louis Friedman, executive director of the Planetary Society, an advocacy group.

NASA calculated that to spot the asteroids as required by law would cost about $800 million between now and 2020, either with a new ground-based telescope or a space observation system, Johnson said. If NASA got only $300 million it could find most asteroids bigger than 1,000 feet (300 metres) across, he said.

But so far NASA has gotten neither sum.

It may never get the money, said John Logsdon, a space policy professor at George Washington University.

"The program is a little bit of a lame duck," Logsdon said. There is not a big enough group pushing for the money, he said.

At the moment, NASA has identified about five near-Earth objects that pose better than a 1-in-a-million risk of hitting our planet and being big enough to cause serious damage, Johnson said. That number changes from time to time, usually with new asteroids added and old ones removed as more information is gathered on their orbits.

The space rocks astronomers are keeping a closest eye on are a 430-foot (130-meter) diameter rock that has a 1-in-3,000 chance of hitting Earth in 2048 and a much-talked about asteroid, Apophis, which is twice that size and has a one-in-43,000 chance of hitting in 2036, 2037 or 2069.

By Seth Borenstein, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
WASHINGTON

Last month, NASA started a new Web site for the public to learn about threatening near-Earth objects.

On the Net:

NASA's near-Earth object site: http://www.jpl.nasa.gov/asteroidwatch

Left brain's Grocery List...A must Listen

2009-08-11T20:39:00.001-06:00

ATTENTION LADIES: If you send your Hubby to the grocery store, make sure you check the list first...
You have to see this, it's a real riot! and believe me, we "all need a good laugh"...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUSTiFUs

Jeanne Robertson "Don't send a man to the grocery store!"
Source: www.youtube.com
Jeanne Robertson, award-winning humorist, professional speaker. Check Jeanne Robertson out on iTunes: http://www.itunes.com/JeanneRobertson Daily on

Why Dogs can't use Computers

2009-08-05T20:58:00.002-06:00

1. He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
2. SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
3. The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
4. He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears “You’ve Got Mail”.
5. It’s too messy to “mark” every Web site he visits.
6. He can’t stick his head out of Windows

Drinking Coffee keeps you Healthy

2009-07-18T17:04:00.001-06:00

A cup of coffee a day keeps the doctor away
For years coffee has endured a bad rap, but experts now say the caffeine content can actually do you some good.

Every morning Lesli Boldt starts her day with a serious cup of coffee -- a two-shot espresso with hot water. “I have one coffee a day and I want it to be a good one,” says Lesli, 35, a manager of marketing and communications for the Vancouver Public Library.

Not only does Lesli's coffee taste good, but new research suggests that it may also be good for her. Recent studies have found that drinking coffee can actually be a healthy habit, enhancing athletic performance, increasing mental alertness and protecting against serious diseases such as Alzheimer's, Parkinson's and even liver and colon cancers. “Coffee consumption fits into a very healthy diet and, if anything, may have a beneficial effect,” Dr. Eileen Madden, a toxicologist and food-safety expert, told a symposium on coffee and health last fall at the New York Academy of Sciences.

That's surprising news for most Canadians who love coffee but treat it as something of a guilty pleasure. Canadians have mixed feelings about the beverage they love to drink, says Massimo Marcone, a food scientist and adjunct professor at the University of Guelph in Ontario who has studied coffee production and consumption all over the world. “People have a preconceived idea about coffee -- they think it's bad for you,” he says.

And no wonder. Almost every day media reports tell us that consuming coffee may be associated with serious health problems, such as osteoporosis, elevated cholesterol, high blood pressure, heart disease, infertility, fibrocystic breast disease (FBD), breast cancer and even miscarriage. But, say the experts, many of those findings were based on poorly designed research and were not supported by further studies.

The benefits of coffee
If you love coffee, here's some of the latest good news.
• A study of 90,000 Japanese by the National Cancer Center in Tokyo found that people who drank one to four cups of coffee daily had half the liver cancer risk of those who never drank coffee. Researchers aren't sure why, but they speculate that antioxidants may play a role.

• A study by researchers at the Harvard School of Public Health that followed more than 125,000 men and women for more than a decade found that regular coffee drinkers had a significantly lower risk of developing type 2 (or late-onset) diabetes. Studies in Sweden and Finland also concluded that coffee consumption offers protection from type 2 diabetes. Again, researchers aren't sure why.

• A half-dozen recent international studies showed a positive relationship between drinking caffeinated beverages -- including coffee -- and lower rates of Parkinson's disease and Alzheimer's disease.

• Other research links coffee consumption with reduced risk of cirrhosis of the liver, colon cancer and asthma.

• A cup or two of coffee can improve endurance in activities such as running, cycling and swimming, according to other research. Coffee has a strong ergogenic effect, meaning it helps people work harder and longer, explains Lawrence Spriet, an exercise physiologist at the University of Guelph who has researched the effects of caffeine on athletic performance for more than a decade. "Even small amounts of caffeine can be quite powerful,” he says.

It's still too early for blanket endorsements, but this kind of evidence has many scientists cautiously optimistic about the health-enhancing powers of coffee. "There is some solid scientific data that show there are some health benefits to moderate coffee consumption," says Marcone.

That's good news, especially for the 81 per cent of Canadians who drink coffee occasionally and the more than 63 per cent (18 years of age and over) who drink it every day. The average Canadian consumes about 2.6 cups of coffee a day.

Caffeine is the key
Although there are about 2,000 substances in a cup of coffee, its main active ingredient is caffeine, a naturally occurring alkaloid. Tea leaves, cola nuts and cocoa beans also contain caffeine, but coffee beans have far more. An eight-ounce cup of brewed coffee has about 135 milligrams of caffeine compared with 36 to 46 milligrams for the same amount of cola and 43 milligrams for the same amount of average-blend tea (instant coffee contains 76 to 106 milligrams of caffeine).

Caffeine acts as a stimulant, promoting the release of adrenaline in the body and suppressing a natural relaxant in the brain called adenosine. The result? Less fatigue, elevated mood, increased alertness and more energy. Not surprisingly, people who need to drive long distances, focus on a project, work a night shift or fight off jet lag drink caffeinated drinks to stay alert. The stimulating effects of caffeine may also result in enhanced athletic performance.
The benefits are a blessing to coffee lovers, but there's a price to pay. Because caffeine is a mild stimulant to the central nervous and cardiovascular systems, it can temporarily raise your blood pressure and, in larger doses, cause sleeplessness, anxiety and nervousness. “Caffeine jazzes up your body and creates a stress reaction,” explains Dr. David Posen, a stress-management consultant in Oakville, Ont.

Caffeine is habit-forming, too, and although not technically addictive, it can cause some mild withdrawal symptoms such as headaches, fatigue or drowsiness if you stop cold turkey.

Moderation is best
So what's the bottom line? Overall, coffee consumed in moderation is safe. After reviewing numerous studies on the effects of caffeine on human health, researchers at Health Canada recently concluded that for the average adult, a moderate intake of caffeine (400 to 450 milligrams per day, or the equivalent of three to four 8-ounce cups of brewed coffee) “is not associated with any adverse effects.”

Marcone agrees, saying, “As long as you stay within the guidelines, you're safe, and I'm confident of that based on the best science.”

Rosie Schwartz, an author and dietitian in Toronto, also concurs with this assessment. “Moderation is the best approach,” she says.

You're the best judge of your coffee capacity, but remember that your response to caffeine may change over time. “The key,” says Schwartz, “is to figure out how it's affecting you. Listen to what your body is telling you.”

If you're feeling stressed, jittery or are having trouble sleeping, Posen recommends that you gradually reduce your coffee intake as an experiment. And he suggests that you don't drink coffee after lunchtime.

Similarly, if you're planning to get pregnant or are already pregnant or breastfeeding, you should consider moderating your intake of caffeine. Health Canada recommends a maximum of 300 milligrams per day (about two to three 8-ounce cups) of brewed coffee. Although there are no definitive studies showing adverse effects, Schwartz advises pregnant women to drink even less than the two to three cups recommended by Health Canada. “It's best to err on the side of caution,” she says.

If you love coffee and want to drink several cups a day, Schwartz has some great advice: use good quality coffee, but try a blend of half-caffeinated and half-decaffeinated. And if too much coffee irritates your stomach, giving you indigestion or heartburn, try a low-acid coffee, says Schwartz.

“Coffee, in moderation, is one of life's great pleasures,” says Marcone. “You should not feel guilty when you're drinking it. When you have a cup of coffee, enjoy it.”

The caffeine content of your favourite drink

The caffeine content of coffee varies depending on how the beans are roasted, the amount of coffee used per cup and how it is brewed. For soft drinks, the caffeine content is consistent.

Espresso coffee (1.5 to 2 oz)
45 to 100 mg of caffeine

Red Bull energy drink (8.2 oz)
80 mg of caffeine

Brewed coffee (8 oz)
80 to 135 mg of caffeine

Cola beverages (12 oz)
43 to 55 mg of caffeine

Warning: Some prescription and over-the-counter medicines contain significant amounts of caffeine. Be sure to check the label or talk with your pharmacist or other primary care provider before taking them.

By Paul Benedetti (canadianliving.com)

Farewell to the King of PoP - Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T08:23:00.003-06:00

And so the life of Michael Jackson came to an end Thursday, June 25, 2009

Michael Jackson was a phenomenal talent and has been around since I first started listening to pop music. To children of the 80s, Thriller was to pop music discovery what Charlotte's Web was to kiddie lit or Raiders of the Lost Ark was to Adventure flicks. I was ten years old in 1982, when Thriller was released, and it was the greatest thing we kids had ever heard in our lives.

Thriller became the bestselling album of all time and an incredible and unprecedented seven of its nine tracks became top ten singles. The funk pop record bore smatterings of hard rock with a guitar solo by Eddie Van Halen. It guested Paul McCartney on a duet, and Vincent Price offered his spooky spoken word for the title track. The Thriller mini movie video broke ground and is often called the best music video of all time. The iconic zombie dance lives on to this day, performed all over the globe, not least impressively by these Filipino inmates. The song styles ran a gamut from the rather menacing Wanna Be Starting Something? to the syrupy ballads, The Lady in My Life and Human Nature.

Of course, Thriller wasn't Jackson's first album. It was preceded by the almost equally stellar disco funk of Off the Wall in 1979. Before that he was the star child, recording many a classic track with the Jackson Five. There were other hits too, like Ben, the theme song for a film of the same name about a boy who befriends the leader of a gang of homicidal rats. The song was nominated for an Oscar.

But Thriller was his greatest work. It sold 40 million copies. At the time of its release, fledgling music television stations, MTV and MuchMusic, were still in relative infancy and, though they had never played many black artists in the past, they played Michael Jackson videos "to death" as Allmusic.com puts it. Jackson, with his flamboyant fashion sense and signature dance stylings did more – by virtue of his mindblowing talent - to integrate black music into the mainstream than anyone had before. Kids my age didn't know this at the time, though, since we weren't aware of musical politics and were content to learn how to moonwalk and show up at school wearing just one glove (I can still moonwalk…and think perhaps a fitting tribute would be for everyone to do so on the anniversary of his death next year).

Jackson never quite managed to recapture the success of Thriller. What are the chances of topping the greatest selling album of all time? There was always quite a wait between albums. In 1987, Jackson released Bad. And while the tour became the highest grossing of all time and the album was the first to produce five number one hits, it sold only 8 million copies.

Meanwhile, Jackson's bizarre behaviour – his friendship with pet chimp Bubbles, his Neverland Ranch and penchant for the company of children, his reclusive habits, and the whitening of his skin, later said to be a case of vitiligo – was fuelling fires of speculation and vitriol. The British tabloid press started calling him "Wacko Jacko."

Dismayed by the moniker, for obvious reasons, Michael was calling himself the "King of Pop" by the time he released Dangerous in 1991. Dangerous debuted at number one but the musical landscape was shifting and soon Nirvana's Nevermind knocked it out of place.

From there, it was a slow, strange downslide for Michael. Amid allegations of child molestation in both 1993 and 2004 (dropped and dismissed, respectively), two failed marriages – one to Elvis Presley's daughter Lisa Marie, the other to nurse Debbie Rowe who bore him two children – Jackson's reputation suffered further. His appearance became increasingly bizarre through cosmetic surgery. I think many of us were always waiting for him to turn around and do something amazing, praying he'd pull himself out of the funk (the wrong kind). And we were increasingly disappointed when he repeatedly failed to do so. It was ten years between Dangerous and 2001's Invincible, which only proved that he was not.

Michael suffered severe financial trouble, had a very public fallout with Tommy Mottola of Sony Music and lost his Neverland Ranch. There was more. But we were all there. We all know what happened. Michael Jackson had become a very tragic figure.

Recently Michael announced a comeback. Looking frail, he gave a press conference, promising ten shows at London's O2 Arena. Ten later became 50.

And many of us were sceptical. We knew he wasn't going to perform those shows. There was no way. He was too sickly looking. Something was fishy from the start. I blogged my predictions and was surprised by the voracity of the insults that popped up in the comments section - directed at me - from people rushing to his defence.

Five shows were later cancelled and moved to the end of the run. He was reportedly diagnosed with skin cancer. And now he's dead. I know this sounds like a crazy conspiracy theory in the making but I have to say I wonder whether Michael was coerced into these concerts, with someone else pulling the strings. I will be very surprised if any of the 750,000 people who bought tickets to those shows get their money back. And I'm no financial expert but I'm guessing there's quite a windfall of cash there. So, what I'm saying is, I suspect there's more to this story, even if we will never know what it is. Or maybe I'm crazy.

Meanhwhile, I just heard the Reverend Al Sharpton on television suggesting Michael died of a broken heart. Fitting, if overly poetic. Life was not kind to Michael.

But how about that Thriller, eh? Good night King of Pop. You were certainly off the wall.

Story by: Elizabeth Bromstein

Bewerp - Worlds Fastest 4 door Convertible

2009-06-07T19:41:00.002-06:00

Bewerp launches four-door Savage Rivale Roadyacht convertible

Over the past couple of years, the number of upstart supercar manufacturers has bloomed. Brands such as Zenvo, Ascari, SSC and others have brought their six-figure machines to market to challenge more storied brands like Ferrari and Lamborghini.

Some, however, are a little more quirky than others. A prime example is this, the oddly-named Bewerp Savage Rivale Rodyacht GTS.

But the name isn’t the only peculiar thing about this Dutch droptop. Firstly, there’s the way it looks. It’s a bit odd, and rather angular in a cool, Italian ‘80s Lamborghini Countach kind of way, and what’s more is that its beetle-style doors should give Lamborghini’s a run for the money. Traffic pylon paintjob aside, its kitsch factor is furthered by the fact that its doors can be opened remotely via a custom wristwatch.

The second odd thing is the fact that the Roadyacht is a four-door convertible, a body configuration that isn’t popular. Besides the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited, I’m hard pressed to think of another four-door droptop.
Last but not least is its performance. Based on the Chevrolet Corvette, the Roadyacht GTS is powered by a supercharged LS7 V8 that develops 670 horsepower and 538 lb.-ft. of torque. This engine provides sufficient power to propel it to 100 km/h in less than 3.5 seconds, and to 200 km/h in less than 35 seconds.

With a top speed of 330 km/h, the Bewerp is also the world’s fastest four-seat convertible, snatching the title from the 322 km/h Bentley Continental GTC Speed.

By Justin Couture

I went to a party . . .

2009-05-31T19:10:00.002-06:00

I went to a party
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I will have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.

MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers)

Getting Even

2009-05-29T21:26:00.000-06:00

The Story About Getting Even

One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight.
Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and hair all matted down.
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took
her to the vet.
We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussycat.'

The vet decided to keep her for a day or so.
He said he would let us know
when we could come and get her.

My husband (the complainer) said,
'OK, but don't forget to wash her, she stinks.'
He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty cat, not him.

My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my husband
'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'.

They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another, with my
husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.

The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor,
who is located in the same building, next door to the vet.

The MD's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the
doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously
seen my husband arrive.

He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said,

'Your wife's pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and
now she smells like a rose. Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant.
God only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door.

Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!

Neil Armstrong's Secret . . . .

2009-05-29T20:54:00.000-06:00

GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE

Neil Armstrong

ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.

HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, "THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS.

BUT JUST BEFORE HE RE-ENTERED THE LANDER, HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."

MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.

HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.

OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY" STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.

ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY, FLORIDA

, WHILE ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED.

MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION.

IN 1938, WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WEST TOWN, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THEIR BEDROOM WINDOW.

HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.

AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY:

"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"

By the way, this is a "TRUE STORY"

9 things People Say that Pisses me off

2009-05-20T20:37:00.004-06:00

1] People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2] People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3] When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4] When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5] When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6] People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'.... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7] When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8] When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that' s longer?

9] When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Hey folks, this is just a joke - humour, so please don't take it personally.

New School Prayer

2009-05-16T10:12:00.002-06:00

Written by a 15 yr. old School Kid in Ohio :
New Pledge of Allegiance (TOTALLY AWESOME!)
Since the Pledge of Allegiance & The Lords
Prayer Are not allowed in Schools anymore
Because the word 'God' is mentioned....
A Kid in Ohio wrote the attached:

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school
Where praying is against the rule.
For this great nation under God
Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,
It violates the Bill of Rights.
And anytime my head I bow
Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,
That's no offence; it's a freedom scene.
The law is specific, the law is precise.
Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall
Might offend someone with no faith at all.
In silence alone we must meditate,
God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,
And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks.
They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.
To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,
And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.
It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,
We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,
Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.
But the 'Ten Commandments' are not allowed,
No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,
When chaos reigns, the school's a mess.
So Lord, this silent plea I make:
Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen

Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

Pontiac - End of the Road for an Icon

2009-05-11T10:32:00.002-06:00

Pontiac, pop culture icon, hits end of the road

LOS ANGELES - It could crash through burning buildings, make a fool of any number of small-town Southern sheriffs, help save the world from giant robots, even take criminals off to jail while engaging in witty repartee with its driver.
In the end, about the only thing a Pontiac automobile couldn't do anymore was persuade enough people to keep buying it.
So General Motors announced this past week that it is killing off the Pontiac brand, maker of muscular, noisy, gas-guzzling V-8-powered vehicles immortalized in song and movies for the way they seemed to shout to every other car on the block: "Out of the way, pipsqueak!"
When Burt Reynolds needed to outrun Jackie Gleason's bumbling Sheriff Buford Justice across the South in the 1977 movie "Smokey and the Bandit," he chose a black Pontiac Trans Am. When he needed a car to crash through burning buildings in "Hooper," it was a red Trans Am.
On TV, the star of the hit 1980s series "Knight Rider" wasn't really David Hasselhoff, it was his talking Pontiac. When Jim Garner's private eye Jim Rockford needed to hit the road to solve a crime, he didn't get behind the wheel of a Ford Mustang or a Chevrolet Camaro. He chose a Pontiac Firebird.
And when a bored high school senior from Nashville, Tenn., decided to tune out his physics teacher's lecture one day and check out a copy of Car and Driver magazine, it was a picture of a hot new Pontiac he saw on the cover. By the end of class, John Wilkin had written the 1964 pop classic "GTO."
Soon after, he would become known as Ronny Wilkin, frontman for a Beach Boys-soundalike group called Ronny and the Daytonas, and he would have the country singing: "Little GTO, you're really lookin' fine. Three deuces and a four-speed and a 389. Listen to her tachin' up now, listen to her whine. Come on and turn it on, wind it up, blow it out GTO."
For a time, the Monkees rode around in a tricked-out GTO, too.
Sometime in the '80s, however, the love affair began to fade.
Car enthusiasts speculated this week whether it was changing tastes, the move toward more environmentally sensitive cars or perhaps Pontiac's inability to keep coming up with new signature muscle cars that was to blame.
Pontiac's more recent contributions to America's automotive efforts included the very uncool Aztek, a chunky vehicle that looked like an SUV that tried to squeeze under a low-clearance bridge.
Jim Mattison, whose Michigan-based Pontiac Historic Services provides information on the model to collectors, noted that for whatever reason the company hadn't produced anything to capture the public's imagination in a long time.
"In 1963, they came out with this wonderful car called the GTO, then the Firebird in 1967, and then that evolved into the Trans Am," Mattison said. "The momentum kept on building until more recent years."
Pontiac, which discontinued the Firebird and Trans Am in 2002, tried bringing back the GTO in 2004. But the new model, produced in Australia, never caught on and was discontinued two years later.
"It didn't look like a Pontiac. It was still an Australian car," said Chris Brown of the Petersen Automotive Museum, where Pontiacs were on prominent display during a muscle-car exhibition a couple years ago.
Brown had praise, however, for two of Pontiac's current models, the G8 and the Solstice.
The latter even had enough muscle to be featured in the 2007 Shia LeBeouf movie "Transformers" as the good-guy robot-disguised-as-car named Jazz. But in perhaps an indication of things to come, Jazz was killed off fighting the evil Megatron and probably won't be around for the sequel.
Pontiac, however, will live on, at least in museums (there's a 1939 Woody on display at the Petersen), in private collections (Mattison owns more than a few himself), and in song.
Wilkin heard "GTO" on the radio just the other day.
"It made me happy and sad at the same time," he said. "I was happy to hear the song but at the same time it was like it was being played at a funeral."

John Rogers, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
May 02, 2009

PostScript:
Goodbye my sweet Pontiac. We will be forever the poor-er without you
This is like Goliath being slayed by David. The end of an Icon has
come to pass and we the yuppies and those before us will never forget you.
RIP - Pontiac
1929 - 2009

Chrysler: A Historical Timeline

2009-05-04T19:39:00.002-06:00

One hundred and one years after Walter P. Chrysler first became a “car guy,” has the company he created finally collided with one crisis too many?

1924 Chrysler Six (Photo: Chrysler)Walter P. Chrysler's involvement with the automobile began at the Chicago auto show in 1908. The then 33-year-old railway executive fell deeply in love with a white Locomobile -- and went deeply into debt to buy it. Then he spent months tinkering with it before even learning to drive.

By 1912 Chrysler had parlayed his new obsession into a new career. Beginning as production manager for Buick, he rose to become president and general manager of that GM division.

Persistent conflicts with GM chief William Durant led him to resign in 1920. But by now, Chrysler's career was in high gear. Over the next two years he fulfilled a contract to resuscitate the failing Willys-Overland company, and did the same for another basket-case firm, Maxwell-Chalmers.

Working with three former Studebaker engineers, Walter P. developed and launched the first car to bear his name in 1924. With its high-compression 3.3-litre engine, and full hydraulic brakes, the Chrysler Six offered upscale features at a not-so-upscale price.

From zero to Big Three in five years

1953 Plymouth Sedan (Photo: Chrysler)The following year, Chrysler purchased the assets of Maxwell, and Chrysler the company was on its way. In 1928 Walter P. purchased the Dodge company, and the same year created Plymouth and DeSoto, giving the company a GM-style hierarchy of brands. The brands were ranked Plymouth, DeSoto, Dodge, and Chrysler (though in the '30s Dodge and DeSoto would swap positions; and later, for a time, Imperial was also a stand-alone luxury brand).

Within five years of its start-up, Chrysler was a full-line manufacturer competing with the Big Two, Ford and GM.

Despite the sales failure of the ahead-of-its-time, aerodynamic 1934 Airflow, Chrysler survived the Great Depression, helped in no small part by the success of its budget brand, Plymouth. After the U.S. entered the Second World War in 1941, the firm switched from civilian to military vehicle production.

At war's end, production of civilian vehicles resumed with lightly seasoned prewar models. When the first all-new postwar cars arrived (somewhat late) in 1949, they were knocked for dreary styling - but the arrival of former Studebaker stylist Virgil Exner that year would soon fix that. Another boost was the launch of the soon-to-be legendary Hemi V8 engine in 1951.

Success through engineering

1957 Chrysler 300C (Photo: Chrysler)The very first Chrysler had established a depth of engineering excellence that persisted through much of the company's history. Even when Chrysler didn't develop the new technology from scratch, it was often the first to use it on a mass-market car.

To name but a few of Chrysler's engineering "firsts": power steering, push-button automatic transmission, AC alternator, curved single-piece windshield, replaceable oil filter, rubber-isolated engine mounts.

Later, Chrysler was a lead adopter of standard airbags, and introduced the industry's first integrated child safety seats. There was also a 20-year fascination with gas-turbine engines, which may yet find an application as on-board generators in hybrid-electric vehicles.

Through the 1950s, '60s and early 70s, Chrysler had its ups and downs, but the 1973-74 energy crisis - which hit just after Chrysler had expensively redesigned its large cars - set it on the path with a near-death experience. The hiring of Lee Iacocca to head up the faltering company, and subsequent government-guaranteed loans that staved off bankruptcy in 1980, are now Chrysler folklore.

The right cars at the right time

1984 Dodge Caravan (Photo: Chrysler)So too are the simple front-drive K-cars that launched in 1981. The Dodge Aries and Plymouth Reliant helped engineer a recovery so rapid that the company paid back its loans seven years ahead of schedule.

Beyond Aries/Reliant, the K-car platform was remarkable for its ability to spawn countless spin-offs. None was more significant than the minivan, which created a whole new breed of vehicle in 1984.

Jeep joined Chrysler's portfolio in 1987 with the purchase of American Motors from then-owner Renault. Chrysler then created Eagle, its first new brand since 1929, to market the Ontario-built AMC Premier and other Renault-built cars that came with the package.

Foreign (mis)adventures

1978 Dodge Omni (Photo: Chrysler)Chrysler never matched the scale of GM's and Ford's overseas operations, but had its share of foreign dalliances. In 1958 it bought into the French automaker Simca, and later added Britain's foundering Rootes Group. In 1978 it unloaded both to Peugeot-Citroën, though not before the Europeans had designed what would become the successful Dodge Omni and Plymouth Horizon -- the first domestically built small front-wheel drive cars.

In the mid-'80s the Big Three went on a European boutique brand buying spree; Chrysler did its share, taking an interest in Maserati (remember the TC by Maserati?) and briefly distributed Alfa Romeos in North America. Chrysler even owned Lamborghini for a short period of time.

More successfully, a durable partnership with Mitsubishi provided Chrysler with countless "badge-engineered" small and sporty cars over the years.

Chrysler comeback – the sequel

1994 Chrysler Concorde, a member of the LH car family (Photo: Chrysler)By the early '90s the largely K-car-derived range was stale and sales were sliding. Once again Chrysler re-invented itself. Adopting a "platform team" approach to streamline vehicle development, Chrysler put 1989's show-stopping Dodge Viper concept into production for 1992, followed by the radically proportioned LH sedans in 1993, the in-your-face Ram pickup in 1994, and a string of other bold designs. All-time record profits of US$3.7 billion were achieved in 1994.

When Germany's Daimler-Benz acquired Chrysler in 1998's so-called merger of equals, Chrysler was still profitable - more so, in fact, than its acquirer. Yet, nine years later, the Germans rid themselves of the American company for a fraction of what they paid for it.

The failed merger: victim or perpetrator?

2009 Dodge Ram (Photo: Chrysler)Experts will debate endlessly what went wrong with DaimlerChrysler. Widely cited causes include promised synergies that failed to materialise, and deep chasms between the two organisations' respective cultures.

But the merger did not cause the ballooning health-care and pension costs that burden all three Detroit automakers, nor the serial gas-price shocks that have rocked an American industry unsustainably addicted to gas-swilling pickups and SUVs. Chrysler completely redesigned the Ram pickup for 2009 - but still does not have a subcompact car in its lineup.

Now, over and above Detroit's own self-inflicted injuries, Chrysler is swept up in an economic storm that transcends all industries and all nations.

If it's true that some companies are simply too big to fail, then this still may not be the end of the road for Chrysler. But one thing seems certain: the years that lie ahead will look very different from the first 85.

By Jeremy Sinek
April 23, 2009

Robin McLaurim Williams - Comedian - Actor

2009-04-21T22:38:00.003-06:00

Description: Robin McLaurim Williams (born July 21, 1951 or 1952)[2] is an Academy Award-, six-time Golden Globe-, two-time Screen Actors Guild Award- and Grammy Award-winning American actor and comedian, who has done television, stage and film work. In part, his big break was from playing Mork from Ork, which was highlighted on Mork & Mindy. Soon afterward he became a film star who is still active as an actor and headlining comic. He was voted 13th on Comedy Central Presents: 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time.

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Early life
*******

Williams was born in Chicago, Illinois. His mother, Laura McLaurim (née Smith, 1922–2001), was a former model from Jackson, Mississippi. His father, Robert Fitzgerald Williams (September 10, 1906–October 18, 1987) was a senior executive at Ford in charge of the Midwest area. Williams was raised in the Episcopal Church, though his mother practiced Christian Science,and he grew up in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan and Marin County, California. He has two half-brothers: McLaurin and the late Todd (deceased August 14, 2007). While in California, Williams attended Redwood High School in Larkspur and grew up in the Marin County suburb of Tiburon.[citation needed] In Michigan, he attended Detroit Country Day School, an exclusive college-preparatory school, which boasts other famous alumni, including Steve Ballmer from Microsoft and Courtney Vance from Law and Order: Criminal Intent.

Williams has described himself as a quiet child whose first imitation was of his grandmother to his mom. He did not overcome his shyness until he became involved with his high school drama department. In high school, he won an award for "Most Likely To Not Succeed".

In 1973, Williams was one of only 20 students accepted into the freshman class at Juilliard. Even more impressive, Williams, along with Christopher Reeve, were the only students accepted by John Houseman into the Advanced Program at the school that year. Reeve and Williams had several classes together in which they were the only two students. In their dialects class, Williams had no trouble mastering all dialects quickly, whereas Reeve was more meticulous about it. Williams's manic comedy did not impress all of his teachers, but his dramatic performances impressed everyone. Williams and Reeve developed a close friendship, and they remained good friends for the rest of Reeve's life. Williams visited Reeve after the horseback riding accident that paralyzed him from the neck down and cheered him up by pretending to be an eccentric Russian doctor (similar to his role in Nine Months). Williams claimed that he was there to perform a colonoscopy. Reeve stated that he laughed for the first time since the accident and knew that life was going to be okay.

Williams first achieved notice for his stand-up routines, performing for tips only, and working at clubs like The Purple Onion in San Francisco.[citation needed] He has been accused, especially in recent years, of stealing jokes from other comedians and even paying for material after the fact.

After appearing in the cast of the short-lived The Richard Pryor Show on NBC, he was cast by Garry Marshall as the alien Mork in a guest role in the TV series Happy Days.

As Mork, Williams improvised much of his dialogue and devised plenty of rapid-fire verbal and physical comedy, speaking in a high, nasal voice. Mork's appearance was so popular with viewers that it led to a spin-off hit television sitcom, Mork and Mindy, which ran from 1978 to 1982. Williams became an overnight sensation, and Mork was featured on posters, coloring books, lunchboxes, and other merchandise. His nonsensical catch phrases, including the greeting "Nanu, Nanu!" and the expletive "Shazbot!", were widely known.
Starting in the late 1970s and throughout the 1980s, Williams began to reach a wider audience with his standup comedy, including three HBO comedy specials, Off The Wall (1978), An Evening with Robin Williams (1982), and Robin Williams: Live at the Met (1986). His standup work has been a consistent thread through his career, as is seen by the success of his one-man show (and subsequent DVD) Robin Williams Live on Broadway (2002). He was voted 13th on Comedy Central's list "100 Greatest Stand-ups of All Time" in 2004.

After some encouragement from his friend Whoopi Goldberg, he was set to make a guest appearance in the 1991 Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "A Matter of Time", but he had to cancel due to a scheduling conflict; Matt Frewer took his place as a time-traveling con man, Professor Berlingoff Rasmussen.

Williams also appeared on an episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway? (Season 3, Episode 9: November 16, 2000). During a game of "Scenes from a Hat", the scene "What Robin Williams is thinking right now" was drawn, and Williams stated "I have a career. What the hell am I doing here?"

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Cinema career
************

The majority of Williams's acting career has been in film, although he has given some memorable performances on stage as well (notably as Estragon in a production of Waiting for Godot with Steve Martin). His first starring roles, Popeye (1980) and The World According to Garp (film) (1982), were both considered flops,[citation needed] but his performance in Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) got Williams nominated for an Academy Award and established a screen identity.[citation needed] Many of his roles have been comedies tinged with pathos, for example The Birdcage and Mrs. Doubtfire.

His role as the Genie in the animated film Aladdin was instrumental in establishing the importance of star power in voice actor casting. Later, Williams once again used his voice talents in Fern Gully, as the holographic Dr. Know in the 2001 feature "Artificial Intelligence: A.I.", the 2005 animated feature Robots, the 2006 Academy Award winning Happy Feet, and an uncredited vocal performance in 2006's Everyone's Hero. Furthermore, he was the voice of The Timekeeper, a former attraction at the Walt Disney World Resort about a time-traveling robot who encounters Jules Verne and brings him to the future.

In 1993, it was reported that he would play The Baker in Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods, which was to be directed by Rob Reiner.[citation needed] The project never came to fruition, but Williams has expressed interest in someday renewing the project though he claims he'd be more likely, because of his age, to play the Mysterious Man, a grizzled forest spirit and the father of The Baker, his original role.[citation needed]

Williams has also starred in dramatic films, earning himself two subsequent Academy Award nominations: First for playing an unorthodox and inspiring English teacher in Dead Poets Society (1989), and later for playing a troubled homeless man in The Fisher King (1991);[9] that same year, he played an adult Peter Pan in the movie Hook. Other acclaimed dramatic films include Awakenings (1990) and What Dreams May Come (1998).

In 1998, he won an Oscar as Best Supporting Actor for his role as a psychologist in Good Will Hunting. However, by the early 2000s, he was thought by some to be typecast in films such as Patch Adams (1998) and Bicentennial Man (1999) that critics complained were excessively maudlin. This apparently prompted Williams to take radically unconventional roles,[citation needed] beginning with a role as a lowlife kiddie show host in the dark comedy Death to Smoochy, followed by One Hour Photo in a watershed performance as an obsessed film developer, Insomnia as a sociopathic writer, and The Final Cut, which is more in tune with Williams as a protagonist. In 2006 Williams starred in The Night Listener, a thriller about a radio show host who realizes he's developed a friendship with a child who may or may not exist.

He is known for his wild improvisational skills and impersonations. His performances frequently involve impromptu humor designed and delivered in rapid-fire succession while on stage. According to the Aladdin DVD commentary, most of his dialogue as the Genie was improvised. He is a talented mimic and can jump in and out of characters and various accents at an extremely fast pace. Williams states that he began doing impersonations as a child, mimicking his aunt's southern accent.

In 2006, he starred in five movies including Man of the Year and was the Surprise Guest at the 2006 Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards. He appeared on an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition that aired on January 30, 2006. Via a live video link to the De'Aeth family whose house and animal rescue shelter were being made over, he encouraged their son Cory, a budding comedian, and gave the family's shelter a recreational vehicle used in the movie R.V..

At one point, he was in the running to play the Riddler in Batman Forever until director Tim Burton dropped the project. Williams had earlier been a prime candidate to play the Joker in Batman. He had expressed interest in assuming the role in The Dark Knight, the sequel to 2005's Batman Begins, although the part of the Joker was taken by Heath Ledger.

He was portrayed by Chris Diamantopoulos in the made-for-TV biopic Behind the Camera: The Unauthorized Story of Mork & Mindy (2005), documenting the actor's arrival in Hollywood as a struggling comedian and becoming an overnight star when he landed the role in Mork & Mindy.

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Personal life
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His first marriage was to Valerie Velardi on June 4, 1978, with whom he has one child, Zachary Pym (Zak) (born April 11, 1983). The marriage ended in 1988.

During Williams' first marriage, he was involved in an extramarital relationship with Michelle Tish Carter, a cocktail waitress whom he met in 1984. She sued him in 1986, claiming he gave her herpes without notifying her. The case was settled out of court.

On April 30, 1989, he married Marsha Garces, his son's babysitter. They have two children, Zelda Rae (born July 31, 1989) and Cody Alan (born November 25, 1991). Williams currently resides in a large house in the upper-income Sea Cliff neighborhood of San Francisco.[citation needed] However, in March 2008, Garces filed for divorce from Williams, citing irreconcilable differences.

During the late 1970s and early 1980s, Williams had a serious addiction to cocaine; he has since quit. Williams was a close friend and frequent partier alongside John Belushi. He says the death of his friend and the birth of his son prompted him to quit drugs: "Was it a wake-up call? Oh yeah, on a huge level. The grand jury helped too".[9] He was also quoted as saying, "Cocaine is God's way of telling you, you're making too much money."

On August 9, 2006, Williams entered himself into a rehabilitation center for alcoholism. His publicist delivered the announcement: "After 20 years of sobriety, Robin Williams found himself drinking again and has decided to take proactive measures to deal with this for his own well-being and the well-being of his family. He asks that you respect his and his family's privacy during this time. He looks forward to returning to work this fall to support his upcoming film releases."

On August 20, 2007, Williams' elder brother, Robert Todd Williams, died of complications from heart surgery performed in July. Robin Williams gave a speech at his memorial service.

Williams frequently visits Australia during his holidays, he has expressed interest in getting citizenship when he retires from his active movie career.

He is currently a member of the Episcopal Church. Williams has described his denomination as "Catholic Lite -- same rituals, half the guilt."

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Other interests
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Williams is an avid enthusiast of games, and is known to enjoy both pen-and-paper role-playing games and online video games, recently playing Warcraft 3, Day of Defeat, Half-Life,and the first-person shooter Battlefield 2 as a sniper. His daughter, Zelda, is named after Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda series of video games.

On January 6, 2006, he performed live at Consumer Electronics Show during Google's keynote.[23] In the 2006 E3, on the invitation of Will Wright, he demonstrated the creature editor of Spore while simultaneously commenting on the creature's look: "This will actually make a platypus look good." He also complimented the game's versatility, comparing it to Populous and Black & White.

He is known to collect shoes including Nike sb and Bape, and speaks fluent French.

Williams is a fan of professional road cycling. During the Lance Armstrong years of domination in the Tour de France, Williams was a regular on the US Postal and Discovery Channel Pro Cycling team bus and hotels.

Robin is a big fan of the popular anime series, Neon Genesis Evangelion. The toy used in One Hour Photo belonged to him.

Robin is a fan of the NFL team San Francisco 49ers

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Charity work
***********

Williams and his estranged wife, Marsha, founded the Windfall Foundation, a philanthropic organization to raise money for many different charities. Williams devotes much of his energy doing work for charities, including the Comic Relief fund-raising efforts. He is also a cycling fan, known to own hundreds of bicycles and to attend the Tour de France. Through his interest in cycling, he has been a friend and supporter of the Lance Armstrong Foundation, performing at events for the foundation.[citation needed]

In December 1999, he sang in French on the BBC-inspired music video of international celebrities doing a cover of the Rolling Stones's "It's Only Rock & Roll" for the charity Children's Promise.

In 2006, he helped fund and also wrote the foreword to the book Home Wasn't Built in a Day with the nonprofit writing center 826 Valencia. The book was written by public school students from Galileo Academy of Science and Technology in San Francisco.

Williams has performed in the USO for U.S. troops stationed in Iraq for four years. As recently as January 24–25, 2007, he performed two live stand-up comedy shows in Boston, MA. Donations from the events were split between the USO Operation Care Package and the Greater Boston Food Bank.

Robin Williams joined Kid Rock, Lance Armstrong, Rachel Smith (Miss USA 2007), and Lewis Black on December 20, 2007, at LSA Anaconda Balad, Iraq, and on December 22, 2007, at Naval Station Rota, Spain.

He is also a celebrity spokesperson for the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. He appears regularly on TV to promote and solicit donations for this institution which is dedicated to researching and curing cancers in children.

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Filmography
**********
Year ↓ Film ↓ Role ↓ Gross ↓
1980 Popeye Popeye US$49.8 million
1982 The World According to Garp T.S. Garp US$29.5 million
1983 The Survivors Donald Quinelle
1984 Moscow on the Hudson Vladimir Ivanov
1986 Seize the Day Tommy Wilhelm
Club Paradise Jack Moniker
The Best of Times Jack Dundee US$7.7 million
1987 Good Morning, Vietnam Adrian Cronauer US$123.9 million
1988 The Adventures of Baron Munchausen King of the Moon US$8.0 million
Portrait of a White Marriage Air Conditioning Salesman
1989 Dead Poets Society John Keating
Back to Neverland Peter Pan
1990 Awakenings Dr. Malcolm Sayer
Cadillac Man Joey O'Brien US$27.6 million
1991 Hook Peter Banning/Peter Pan US$119.6 million
The Fisher King Parry US$42.0 million
Dead Again Doctor Cozy Carlisle
1992 Toys Leslie Zevo US$21.4 million
Aladdin Genie US$217.4 million
The Timekeeper The Timekeeper
FernGully: The Last Rainforest Batty Koda US$24.6 million
Shakes the Clown Mime Class Instructor
I'm From Hollywood
1993 Mrs. Doubtfire Daniel Hillard/Mrs. Doubtfire US$219.5 million
Being Human Hector
1994 In Search of Dr. Seuss Father
1995 Aladdin and the King of Thieves Genie US$168.2 million
Jumanji Alan Parrish US$100.4 million
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
Nine Months Dr. Kosevich
1996 Hamlet Osric US$5.1 million
The Secret Agent The Professor
Jack Jack Powell US$58.5 million
The Birdcage Armand Goldman
1997 Good Will Hunting Sean Maguire US$138.4 million
Flubber Professor Philip Brainard US$92.9 million
Deconstructing Harry Mel/Harry's Character
Fathers' Day Dale Putley US$28.6 million
1998 Patch Adams Hunter "Patch" Adams US$202.2 million
Junket Whore
What Dreams May Come Chris Nielsen US$55.3 million
1999 Bicentennial Man Andrew Martin
Jakob the Liar Jakob Heym/Narrator
Get Bruce
2000 Model Behavior Faremain
2001 A.I.: Artificial Intelligence Dr. Know US$78.6 million
2002 The Rutles 2: Can't Buy Me Lunch
Insomnia Walter Finch US$67.2 million
Death to Smoochy 'Rainbow' Randolph Smiley US$4.2 million
One Hour Photo Sy Parrish US$31.5 million
2004 Noel Charlie Boyd/The Priest
House of D Pappass US$210,826
The Final Cut Alan W. Hakman
2005 In Search of Ted Demme
The Big White Paul Barnell
Robots Fender US$128.2 million
The Aristocrats Himself
2006 Night at the Museum Teddy Roosevelt US$250.8 million
Man of the Year Tom Dobbs US$12.5 million
Happy Feet Ramon/Lovelace (voice) US$194.9 million
Everyone's Hero Napoleon Cross (voice) US$6.1 million
RV Bob Munro US$86.8 million
The Night Listener Gabriel Noone
2007 License to Wed Reverend Frank US$43.8 million
August Rush Maxwell "Wizard" Wallace
2009 Old Dogs TBA post-production

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Contact Info:
Website: http://www.robin-williams.net
Office: Hollywood
Location: Los Angeles, CA

Strong Walls

2009-03-29T12:46:00.002-06:00

Notice the strong walls of our city...
Now examine the inner walls of our city,
Examine the fine artwork,
These walls too, surpass all others!
No human being, not even a king,
Will ever be able to construct more impressive walls

-Gilgamesh, Tablet 1, 2100 B.C.

' Vampire ' woman unearthed in Venice

2009-03-14T20:42:00.002-06:00

Evidence of exorcism found
By Ariel David, Associated Press

The 16th-century remains of a woman with a brick stuck between her jaws unearthed in 2006 in an archaeological dig near Venice. (AP Photo/Matteo Borrini of Florence University)
ROME - An archaeological dig near Venice has unearthed the 16th-century remains of a woman with a brick stuck between her jaws - evidence, experts say, that she was believed to be a vampire.

The unusual burial is thought to be the result of an ancient vampire-slaying ritual. It suggests the legend of the mythical bloodsucking creatures was tied to medieval ignorance of how diseases spread and what happens to bodies after death, experts said.

The well-preserved skeleton was found in 2006 on the Lazzaretto Nuovo island, north of the lagoon city, amid other corpses buried in a mass grave during an epidemic of plague that hit Venice in 1576.

"Vampires don't exist, but studies show people at the time believed they did," said Matteo Borrini, a forensic archaeologist and anthropologist at Florence University who studied the case over the last two years. "For the first time we have found evidence of an exorcism against a vampire."

Medieval texts show the belief in vampires was fueled by the disturbing appearance of decomposing bodies, Borrini told The Associated Press by telephone.

During epidemics, mass graves were often reopened to bury fresh corpses and diggers would chance upon older bodies that were bloated, with blood seeping out of their mouth and with an inexplicable hole in the shroud used to cover their face.

"These characteristics are all tied to the decomposition of bodies," Borrini said. "But they saw a fat, dead person, full of blood and with a hole in the shroud, so they would say: 'This guy is alive, he's drinking blood and eating his shroud."'

Modern forensic science shows the bloating is caused by a buildup of gases, while fluid seeping from the mouth is pushed up by decomposing organs, Borrini said. The shroud would have been consumed by bacteria found in the mouth area, he said.

At the time however, what passed for scientific texts taught that "shroud-eaters" were vampires who fed on the cloth and cast a spell that would spread the plague in order to increase their ranks.

To kill the undead creatures, the stake-in-the-heart method popularized by later literature was not enough: A stone or brick had to be forced into the vampire's mouth so that it would starve to death, Borrini said.

That's what is believed to have happened to the woman found on the Lazzaretto island, which was used as a quarantine zone by Venice. Aged around 60, she died of the plague during the epidemic that also claimed the life of the painter Titian.

Much later, someone jammed the brick into her mouth when the grave was reopened. Borrini said that marks and breaks left by blunt instruments on several among more than 100 skeletons found by the archaeologists show that the grave was reused in a later epidemic.

Such a reconstruction of events is plausible, as is the link to the superstitions about "shroud-eaters," said Piero Mannucci, the vice president of the Italian Society of Anthropology and Ethnology.

"Maybe a priest or a gravedigger put the brick in her mouth, which is what was normally done in such cases," Mannucci said.

The anthropologist, who did not take part in Borrini's research, said that at a time when bacteria were unknown, such superstitions were a way for the terrified population to explain the waves of plague epidemics that killed millions during the Middle Ages. Jews were also often accused of spreading the disease.

Borrini said the discovery shows that vampires in popular culture were originally quite different from the elegant, aristocratic blood-drinker depicted in Bram Stoker’s 1897 novel "Dracula" and in countless Hollywood revisitations.

"The real vampire of tradition was different," he said. "It was just a decomposing body."

So You Want To See Berlin - Germany That Is...

2009-03-14T10:16:00.001-06:00

Berlin Travel Guide
Overview
Berlin may not have the history of Rome or the splendor of Prague, but its importance is in the now. Ever since the Berlin Wall came down in 1989, the city has been changing on a daily basis. There is an immediacy and excitement in watching the metropolis grow. However, you can't go there without taking a moment to contemplate its very painful history, which didn't start and end with World War II. Its many monuments and museums serve as reminders of what happens when you don't speak out and when you don't stand up. Berlin has definitely moved forward, but rightly so, it hasn't forgotten its past.
While staying in Berlin, it's important that your hotel be central to what you want to see and do, because the attractions are spread out. The good news is that public transportation is efficient, punctual and clean. It's served by Trams, the underground train (or U-Bahn), and the elevated train (or S-Bahn). Velotaxis (or pedicabs) are also a great way to get around. They fit two people, are reasonably priced, and can take you anywhere you wish. However, they usually stay in the center of the city, where all the tourists travel.

Sights/Landmarks/To Do
Boat Tour: A boat tour through Berlin offers a fascinating view of the city's architecture. During Germany's reunification, the powers agreed to use architecture as the main vehicle to define the new Berlin and, therefore, all of Germany in its democratic ideals. By boat, it's easy to sit back and watch history unfold.
Mitte: Mitte is Berlin's historic center. Today, it's the hip place to be with loads of cafés, restaurants, shops and galleries. It's been yuppie-fied, but it's still cutting edge, a little on the fringe. Some of Berlin's most important tourist sites are in the area, including the Pergamon Museum, Brandenburg Gate and the Reichstag.
St. Nicholas Quarter: St. Nicholas Quarter is centered around Berlin's oldest church, St. Nicholas. The quarter is a vibrant, pedestrian-only center that holds lots of cafés and shops for tourists.
Berliner Dom: One of the most recognizable landmarks in the city is the Berliner Dom, or Berlin Cathedral. It is an enormous neo-baroque cathedral with a copper dome, well over 300 feet high.
Web site: www.berlinerdom.de
Address: Am Lustgarten 1, Hackescher Markt (S-bahn)
The Reichstag: The Reichstag has not always been the most beloved building in Berlin. Built in 1884, when Germany still had a king, it housed the legislative body, so his Royal Highness wasn't a big fan. Hitler didn't like it, because it represented democracy, and after that, the people turned against it, because they thought the architecture seemed too bombastic. Today, it is the parliamentary seat of unified Germany, so stop picking on the Reichstag!
Web site: www.bundestag.de
Address: Pl. der Republik 1, Unter den Linden (S-bahn)
Brandenburg Gate: The Brandenburg Gate is one of the most defining landmarks in Berlin. It was completed in 1791, as a tribute to the king, but hasn't had an easy history. At the top of the gate is a sculpture of four horses, which Napoleon ordered sent to Paris in 1806, to adorn one of his own arches of triumph. After Germany defeated France in 1814, the sculpture was returned to Berlin. However, in World War II, the entire upper portion of the gate, including the sculpture, was destroyed. In 1957, the original molds were discovered, and a brand-new chariot was cast. It's been there ever since. If you were watching television in November 1989, you saw hundreds of thousands East Germans pass through its archways into the West for the first time since 1961.
Address: Pariser Pl., Unter den Linden (S-bahn)
Museum Island (Museumsinsel): When Berlin was divided, both sides tried to one-up each other in the arts. By the time the wall came down, there were three opera houses, two national galleries, eight orchestras, 17 museums, and the list goes on. Since then, Berliners have pooled their resources to make the city an international cultural powerhouse. Museum Island is one product of that effort. If you're a museum groupie, Museum Island is a must-see - it's literally an island of museums, five to be exact.
Web site: www.smb.museum
Address: Entrance to Museumsinsel: Am Kupfergraben, Hackescher Markt (S-bahn)
The New Synagogue: Prior to World War II, the New Synagogue, or Neue Synagoge, was the centerpiece of a vibrant Jewish community. It's no longer a place of worship, but it is the only synagogue in Berlin that wasn't destroyed by the Nazis.
Web site: www.cjudaicum.de
Address: Oranienburger Str. 28-30, Oranienburger Str. (U-bahn), Oranienburger Tor (S-bahn)
Kurfürstendamm: Kurfürstendamm is a very popular street in Berlin. It's loaded with great shopping. One highlight is KaDeWe, short for Kaufhaus Des Westens, an upscale department store that boasts the largest food hall in all of Europe. You can buy all types of gourmet items there, like pastas, salt from around the world, and sugar in decorative jars. Allow yourself at least an hour to look around, more if you want to eat.
Unter den Linden: Unter den Linden, or Under the Linden Tree, is a street in the center of Berlin. It's one of the city's most celebrated boulevards - green, leafy, and almost always nice for a walk.
Tacheles: Tacheles is one of the last remaining communal art spaces in Berlin. Artists moved into the abandoned building after the Berlin Wall came down, because it was rent free. It soon became an alternative space for art, theater and film. Not only does it hold artist studios, but also galleries with art available for purchase. Whether you call it absurdism or avant-garde, you have to call it progress, because the art represents individual expression, which wasn't always tolerated in Berlin.
The Berlin Wall/Eastside Gallery: The Berlin Wall went up in 1961 and came down in 1989. The Eastside Gallery is the biggest remaining portion of it, and now it's home to the largest open-air gallery in the world. Over 100 artists from 21 different countries were invited to leave their mark on it. It's very powerful and evocative.
Where: The stretch along the Spree Canal runs between the Warschauer Strasse S- and U-bahn station and Ostbahnhof. Warschauer Str. (U-bahn and S-bahn), Ostbahnhof (S-bahn).

Hotels
Arcotel Velvet: The Arcotel Velvet is a bargain, but not a bargain hotel. It's a modern, smart-looking hotel in Mitte, Berlin's historic center. The Velvet is decorated with portraits of people who have fascinated us through the years, and there is a cocktail lounge in the lobby. Right next door is a restaurant with an amazing breakfast buffet. Be sure to ask whether or not it's included in your stay.
Web site: Arcotel Velvet

Food/Restaurants/Bars
Currywurst: Currywurst is the snack to have in Berlin. It's essentially a hot dog sprinkled heavily with curry and topped with a lovely sauce of curry ketchup. It's sold everywhere

I am only a CHILD!

2009-03-13T13:04:00.002-06:00

Hello. I'm Severn Suzuki, speaking for ECO, the Environmental Children's Organization. We are a group of 12 and 13 year olds trying to make a difference: Vanessa Suttie, Morgan Geisler, Michelle Quigg, and me. We've raised all the money to come here ourselves, to come 5,000 miles to tell you adults you must change your ways.

Coming up here today, I have no hidden agenda. I am fighting for my future. Losing my future is not like losing an election or a few points on the stock market. I am here to speak for all generations to come. I am here to speak on behalf of the starving children around the world whose cries go unheard. I am here to speak for the countless animals dying across this planet because they have nowhere left to go. I am afraid to go out in the sun now because of the holes in our ozone. I am afraid to breathe the air because I don't know what chemicals are in it. I used to go fishing in Vancouver - my home - with my dad, until just a few years ago we found the fish full of cancers. And now we hear of animals and plants going extinct every day, vanishing forever.

In my life, I have dreamt of seeing the great herds of wild animals, jungles and rainforests, full of birds and butterflies, but now I wonder if they will even exist for my children to see. Did you have to worry of these things when you were my age? All this is happening before our eyes and yet we act as if we have all the time we want and all the solutions. I'm only a child, and I don't have all the solutions. I want you to realize, neither do you. You don't know how to fix the holes in our ozone layer. You don't know how to bring the salmon back up a dead stream. You don't know how to bring back an animal now extinct. And you can't bring back the forest that once grew where there is now a desert.

If you don't know how to fix it, please stop breaking it.

Here you may be delegates of your government, businesspeople, organizers, reporters or politicians. But really you are mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, aunts and uncles, and all of you are someone's child. I am only a child, yet I know we are all part of a family 5 billion strong. In fact, 30 million species strong. And borders and governments will never change that. I am only a child, yet I know that we're all in this together and should act as one single world towards one single goal. In my anger, I am not blind, and in my fear, I am not afraid of telling the world how I feel. In my country, we make so much waste. We buy and throw away, buy and throw away, buy and throw away, and yet Northern countries will not share with the needy. Even when we have more than enough, we are afraid to share. We are afraid to let go of some of our wealth.

In Canada, we live the privileged life with plenty of food, water and shelter. We have watches, bicycles, computers and television sets. The list could go on for two days. Two days ago here in Brazil, we were shocked when we spent time with some children living on the streets. This is what one child told us, "I wish I was rich. And if I were, I would give all the street children food, clothes, medicines, shelter, and love and affection. If a child on the streets who has nothing is willing to share, why are we who have everything still so greedy? I can't stop thinking that these are children my own age; that it makes a tremendous difference where you are born; that I could be one of the children living in the favelas of Rio. I could be a child starving in Somalia, or a victim of war in the Middle East or a beggar in India. I am only a child, yet I know that if all the money spent on war was spent on finding environmental answers, ending poverty and finding treaties, what a wonderful place this Earth would be.

At school, even in kindergarten, you teach us how to behave in the world. You teach us to not fight with others. To work things out. To respect others. To clean up our mess. Not to hurt other creatures. To share, not be greedy. Then why do you go out and do the things you tell us not to do? Do not forget why you are attending these conferences - who you are doing this for. We are your own children. You are deciding what kind of world we are growing up in.

Parents should be able to comfort their children by saying "Everything's going to be all right. It's not the end of the world. And we're doing the best we can." But I don't think you can say that to us anymore. Are we even on your list of priorities? My dad always says "You are what you do, not what you say." Well, what you do makes me cry at night. You grown ups say you love us, but I challenge you, please make your actions reflect your words.

Thank you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZsDliXzyAY
*** Note from CAM:
I wonder if the world people will ever smarten up & fix this problem
or will they just let Earth go to hell & let future generations try
to clean up the mess our techknowlegy has created, if there will still
be a world to fix up that is.

I Have A Friend

2009-03-11T18:59:00.002-06:00

Around the corner I have a friend,

In this great city that has no end,

Yet the days go by and weeks rush on,

And before I know it, a year is gone.

And I never see my old friends face,

For life is a swift and terrible race,

He knows I like him just as well,

As in the days when I rang his bell.

And he rang mine but we were younger then,

And now we are busy, tired men.

Tired of playing a foolish game,

Tired of trying to make a name.

'Tomorrow' I say! 'I will call on Jim

Just to show that I'm thinking of him.'

But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes,

And distance between us grows and grows.

Around the corner, yet miles away,

'Here's a telegram sir,' 'Jim died today.'

And that's what we get and deserve in the end

Around the corner, a vanished friend.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Remember to always say what you mean.

If you love someone, tell them.

Because when you decide it is the right time,
it might be too late.

Seize the day. Never have regrets.

And most importantly, stay close to your friends
and family, for they have helped
make you the person that you are today.

Earliest Domesticated Horses

2009-03-07T20:09:00.002-07:00

Earliest domesticated horses dated 5,500 years ago, research shows

WASHINGTON - People and horses have trekked together through at least 5,500 years of history, according to an international team of researchers reporting in Friday's edition of the journal Science.New evidence, corralled in Kazakhstan, indicates the Botai culture used horses as beasts of burden - and as a source of meat and milk - about 1,000 years earlier than had been widely believed. The research comes from a team led by Alan Outram of England's University of Exeter.

Outram says the finding is significant because it "changes our understanding of how these early societies developed." Domestication of the horse was an immense breakthrough - bringing advancements in communications, transportation, farming and warfare. The research also shows the development of animal domestication and a fully pastoral economy may well be independent of famous centres of domestication, such as the Near East and China, Outram added. Compared to dogs, domesticated as much as 15,000 years ago, and such food animals as sheep, goats and pigs, horses are relatively late arrivals in the human relationship.
"It is not so much the domestication of the horse that is important, but the invention of horseback riding," commented anthropologist David W. Anthony of Hartwick College in Oneonta, N.Y. "When people began to ride, it revolutionized human transport. For the first time the Eurasian steppes, formerly a hostile ecological barrier to humans, became a corridor of communication across Eurasia linking China to Europe and the Near East. Riding also forever changed warfare. Boundaries were changed, new trading partners were acquired, new alliances became possible, and resources that had been beyond reach became reachable," observed Anthony, who was not part of Outram's research team.

Some researchers believe this new mobility may have led to the spread of Indo-European languages and many other common aspects of human culture, Outram said. In addition to carrying people and their goods, horses provided meat and even milk, which some cultures still ferment into a mildly alcoholic beverage. The date and place of horse domestication has long been subject to research, and the steppes of Central Asia and the Botai Culture have previously been suggested as possibilities. But the new report adds extensive detail to the tale. Outram's team developed a troika of evidence for horses being domesticated by the Botai.

-Studies of the jaws of horses from the site show tooth wear similar to that caused by bits in modern horses, an indication of riding. A 1998 paper by Anthony raised the possibility of such findings, but the new report is much more extensive and detailed. The leg bones of the Botai horses are more slender than those of wild horses, indicating breeding for different qualities. The new way of measuring and analyzing horse leg bones "shows here for the first time that the Botai culture horses were closer in leg conformation to domestic horses than to wild horses. That is another first," Anthony said. And complex studies of ancient ceramic pots from the location showed evidence they once contained mare's milk.

"This is, apart from being fascinating, something of a smoking gun for domestication - would you milk a wild horse?" said Outram. Anthony agreed: "If you're milking horses, they are not wild! The invention of a method to identify the fat residues left by horse milk in ceramic pots is a spectacular and brilliant advance," he said of Outram's paper. "It is really important to be able to identify the fats in the clay pots as not just from horse tissue, but precisely from horse milk." Still today mares are milked in Kazakhstan and Mongolia.

"The Kazakhs ferment it into a sour tasting and slightly alcoholic drink called Koumiss. It is clear that dated back at least hundreds of years, but beyond that no one knew. Who would have thought it was a practice that went back 5,500 years, at least," Outram said.

-- Randolph E. Schmid, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Resveratrol - Red Wine Cancer Prevention

2009-03-01T11:54:00.002-07:00

What If You Didn't ' Have to Grow Old ' ?

2009-03-01T11:30:00.003-07:00

Teams of scientists working at Harvard and MIT are tampering with the cellular power plants that determine how you live and when you'll die. Their goal for you: energy, health, and youth, for a very long time. There are many reasons a major leaguer can fall into a batting slump: losing his timing at the plate, bailing out on pitches, thinking too much about dinner after the game. But the funk that Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Rocco Baldelli fell into over the past two seasons was on a whole different level. The dude's mitochondria were letting him down.
No bells ringing for you? Let me help you out: sophomore year in high school... specifically, biology class... the unit on cells... the discussion of the cell's power source...

Mitochondria! Yes!

Although Baldelli didn't realize it when his muscle soreness started or when his injuries began to pile up, his mitochondria were in serious trouble. And they weren't just causing a slump at the plate, they were causing a slump in his life. Early last year, he couldn't work out for more than a few minutes without becoming exhausted. He had cramping and other strange sensations in his limbs. By the start of the season last April, things were so bleak that the Rays had put him back on the disabled list.
Fortunately, this is a story with a pretty happy ending. Doctors eventually determined that Baldelli was suffering from mitochondrial myopathy — damage to those power plants. He began a course of treatment, and by early August the Rays were on the verge of making their first trip to the playoffs. He played well in the regular season, and in the postseason, as TV announcers struggled to pronounce "mitochondria," he stepped up his performance even more, hitting two postseason home runs and driving in one of the runs that sent the Rays to the World Series.
But don't let Baldelli's struggle spook you too much. His disease, however scary, is rare. And even though damaged mitochondria can do bad things to you, as Baldelli will attest, the opposite is also true: Strong, healthy mitochondria can make you strong and healthy now, and maybe for a very, very, very long time.
"Expanding lifetimes for another hundred, some say a thousand years, is... science fiction," says David Sinclair, Ph.D., his Australian drawl rising softly. "We can't even extend the life of a mouse that far.
How could we do it for ourselves? I don't know of anything we're doing yet that would allow us to accomplish that."
Yet.
It's Friday afternoon and I've come to Sinclair's lab at Harvard medical school to talk to him not only about the prospects for supercharging our mitochondria, but also about the long-term effects of keeping these cellular power plants humming. Sinclair, a slight, intense man of 39, dismisses the idea of adding centuries to our lives, but he's more optimistic about the possibility of adding a few decades of, say, competitive softball.

"In the future, people will be thinking, 'When I'm 80, I'll still be playing tennis...and at 90 I'll still be around to see my great-grandkids graduate from college,' " he says.
Over the past couple of decades, researchers have gained an increasing understanding of just how crucial mitochondria are to, well, just about every aspect of human health and fitness. On the positive side, for example, research shows that properly functioning mitochondria pave the way for an array of benefits — from muscle growth and increased energy to greater endurance and a great head of hair. On the negative side, damaged mitochondria are associated with an equally wide array of diseases and conditions — from diabetes, heart disease, and obesity to the type of neuromuscular disorder that sucked the spirit out of Rocco Baldelli.
As your mitochondria go, apparently, so goes the rest of you.
That's why Sinclair has been trying to pinpoint a genetic way to keep our mitochondria charged up. Currently, he and a group of researchers are focused on enzymes called sirtuins, which, when activated, have been shown to invigorate mitochondria.
Sinclair himself has made several of the most recent, high-profile breakthroughs involving sirtuins. In 2003, he discovered that the sirtuin known as SIR2 could be activated with resveratrol, a compound best known for its presence in red wine. In subsequent studies, he and other researchers found that giving lab mice large amounts of resveratrol not only made them healthier and more energetic, but in some cases extended their lives by up to 30 percent. (Don't reach for the Beaujolais just yet, though — you'd have to drink at least 35 bottles a day for an equivalent dose). Then, last year, Sirtris Pharmaceuticals—the company Sinclair cofounded to develop antiaging drugs — announced that it had cooked up a chemical compound that's a thousand times more potent than resveratrol.
What does all this mean? In the short term, it means lots of enthusiasm for what Sinclair and his colleagues are doing. Pharmaceutical giant GlaxoSmithKline, for example, is so bullish on Sirtris that in June 2008 it bought the company for $720 million. Meanwhile, Sinclair himself believes that a sirtuin-activating, mitochondria-boosting drug could be on the market within a decade and possibly within 5 years.
If that happens, the impact on all of us is potentially profound. For starters, it would be a step toward a whole new type of treatment for some of the most common and debilitating human diseases, including heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer. Just as significant, though, is the fact that the drugs could allow us to remain healthy, active, and energetic years beyond what we're capable of now. So both Father Time and the Grim Reaper are in the crosshairs.
And for Sinclair, it seems, that is precisely the point. "We have such a short time on the planet — on a geological scale, we're around for a second," he says. "And our loved ones are not going to be around forever. I'd like to do something about that. I think aging is the curse of mankind." He leans forward in his chair. "It's really not fair for conscious beings to be aware of their own mortality."
Mitochondria are tiny, but their effects are large. You can easily see the difference between an animal whose mitochondria are working perfectly and one whose mitochondria are worn out.Sinclair beckons me over to his computer.
Onto the screen pops a video of two mice running side by side on two tiny treadmills. The mouse on the left — which Sinclair explains was part of the control group in a recent study, one that was fed a diet of pellets — is struggling like an overweight chain smoker trying to run the New York City Marathon. The mouse on the right, whose mitochondria were fired up with megadoses of resveratrol, is sprinting forward gleefully.

So how exactly do mitochondria turn one mouse into a near-superhero while leaving another looking like a rodent version of Jack Black? The answer goes back to the role mitochondria play in cells. The main function of mitochondria is to transform nutrients that enter cells into supplies of the energy molecule ATP — something they accomplish through a complex process called aerobic respiration. ATP, in turn, provides the energy the cells need to function. (The number of mitochondria in a cell varies, depending on how much energy the cell requires. Heart cells, for example, have thousands of mitochondria, while skin cells have only one mitochiondrion each.)
Now when your mitochondria are functioning properly, good things happen. Your body runs the way it's supposed to — your heart beats, your neurons fire, your muscles contract, your eyes see, and your liver, kidneys, and other organs operate as they should. You are, in essence, a perfectly tuned piece of physiology.
Unfortunately, at least two factors stand in the way of properly functioning mitochondria. The first is genetic mutation. Mutations may be inherited, or caused by diet and lifestyle, or simply random. And they're associated with a vast array of conditions ranging from neuromuscular ailments to dementia, atherosclerosis, and diabetes. In such cases, the genetically damaged mitochondria fail to process all the nutrients in the cell, leading to an energy crisis within the cell. Without enough power to function, the cell falters... and presto, bad stuff happens.
The second force working against your mitochondria is, simply, time. The great paradox of mitochondria is that even as they're providing energy to your body, they're essentially sowing the seeds of their own destruction. During aerobic respiration, by-products, such as free radicals, leak out. Over time, they harm both the mitochondria and other parts of the cell. The result: damage that looks a lot like aging.

The link between mitochondria and aging was most definitively established in a 2004 study published in the journal Nature. In the study, researchers at Stockholm's Karolinska Institute developed a strain of mice with damaged mitochondrial DNA. For the first 25 weeks (until young adulthood) the mice were normal. But then they suddenly began to show signs of premature aging. They displayed the sorts of symptoms you typically see at a 50th high-school reunion: creaky joints, failing mojo, even baldness. Typically, wild mice live for about 2 years (100 weeks), while pet or lab mice live for 3 years or so (150 weeks). All of these mice were dead by 61 weeks Is there anything you can do to help your mitochondria withstand the ravages of time? The happy answer is yes. Exercise, for example, is known to have a major impact on mitochondrial function. In a 2003 study, Mayo Clinic researcher Kevin Short, Ph.D., put 65 healthy nonexercisers on a bicycle-training program 3 days a week. Not only did their aerobic capacity increase significantly, but their mitochondria were pumping out more ATP-boosting enzymes as well.
Alas, you can't exercise your way to immortality, which is why David Sinclair and others are trying to find a pharmacological way to keep those mitochondria revving. The mouse who's a stud on the treadmill and his resveratrol-stoked brethren, for example, had significantly less heart disease and diabetes and lived 30 percent longer than their resveratrol-deprived friends. "They were healthier, fitter mice, all thanks to resveratrol in their food," says Sinclair.

David Sinclair may be on the brink of a mitochondria-boosting drug, but the quest actually began more than 70 years ago, long before he was born. In the 1930s, a group of researchers made a fascinating finding: Significantly reducing an organism's calorie intake lengthens its life. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense. It suggests that organisms that could slow their own aging during food shortages were able to survive and reproduce, while organisms that couldn't saw their genetic lines die off. Still, while scientists have repeatedly shown that caloric restriction works in all sorts of organisms, they never really understood exactly how this magic took place.
In the early 1990s, an MIT researcher named Lenny Guarente, Ph.D., decided to take a crack at solving the caloric-restriction riddle. As career moves go, it was pretty risky, given that the study of aging had long been seen as a backwater of science. "There were a lot of claims that turned out to be wrong," Guarente says as we chat in his MIT office, which is just across the Charles River from David Sinclair's lab. Now 56, Guarente is bald and has dark, deep-set eyes. "Aging was also seen as too complicated, too chaotic" to solve, he continues. "And evolutionary theory holds that it should be that way. Aging occurs late in life, when natural selection has waned. The things that happen haven't been selected for and honed."
Guarente was undeterred by his colleagues' skepticism, though, and with the help of a couple of graduate students, he studied aging in yeast. (That's about as simple an organism as you can think of.) In 1996, he and his team discovered that a strain of yeast that lived longer than its counterparts had a mutation in a particular set of genes — namely, its sirtuin enzymes. Eventually, Guarente added an extra copy of one of those genes, SIR2, to a normal yeast cell, and found that — voila — it extended the cell's life span by 50 percent.

It was around this time that Guarente was joined in the lab by Sinclair, then a 27-year-old Australian who'd just earned his doctorate in biology at the University of Sydney. The two had met by accident — they'd sat next to each other at a scientific forum in Sydney — but as soon as Sinclair heard what Guarente was working on, he wanted to join him. "I basically told Lenny, 'I'm coming to your lab whether you like it or not,'" Sinclair remembers. "I didn't want to do anything else with my life." Over the next few years, Guarente and his team made two more significant discoveries. In 1999, one of Guarente's lab assistants found that adding an extra copy of the SIR2 gene had a similar effect on roundworms. Guarente says this was a pivotal moment for him, because the finding suggested that the same process was at work in a variety of organisms.

The other breakthrough, equally crucial, was the discovery of a link between SIR2 and caloric restriction — the life-extending diet that had first been recognized back in the 1930s. While previous theories had speculated that caloric restriction worked by slowing an organism's metabolism, Guarente's research suggested the exact opposite was happening — slashing calories actually activated SIR2, which in turn revved up the cell's mitochondria and kept them young and vital.
In the nearly 10 years since then, Guarente and Sinclair, as well as a number of other Guarente protégés, have been researching sirtuin. Sinclair founded his own lab at Harvard in 1999, and he's made significant advances there, including the discovery that resveratrol can activate SIR2. He's also created a new chemical compound that's a thousand times more potent than resveratrol. In 2006, Sinclair and his team launched the first human studies of this new compound, and he's clearly excited by the results.
"The trials have shown that blood glucose levels are lowered in people with diabetes, as we saw in the mice," he says. "So far, we are seeing the same kind of improvements in glucose metabolism in humans that we saw in the mice. And we've seen no evidence of toxicity or side effects." How much time does he think the drugs might potentially add to human life? "It's feasible that we could help people live 5 or 10 years longer in a healthy state," he says. "Ultimately, they could have a far greater effect on healthy longevity based on what we know about caloric restriction in animals and its ability to keep animals healthy for an additional 30 percent longer."

Not everyone is convinced that Sinclair is onto the next big thing. Some scientists argue that studies of mice don't guarantee that resveratrol will work — or be safe — in humans. A handful of others are skeptical of any significant life-extension benefits, arguing that from an evolutionary perspective, humans may have already reached their maximum life span.
Sinclair acknowledges that plenty of obstacles are still ahead, but he has faith that he's on the right track. "Caloric restriction works in every organism, and so far, these molecules have worked in every organism," he says. "I'm hoping humans are not the planet's only exception. People who think that are usually disproven when it comes to biology."

So what will these sirtuin-activating, mitochondrial-boosting drugs look like if they ever hit the market? The drugs that Sirtris is now working to develop will be targeted at specific diseases and not the aging process itself, largely for practical reasons. In order for a drug to be approved by the FDA, its manufacturer must show it has a measurable effect. To demonstrate an impact on aging would take at least 10 to 20 years, something no drug company has the time, resources, or interest in doing. Diabetes, in contrast, can be tested relatively quickly. "It's probably never going to be sold as an antiaging drug," Sinclair says. "But if a drug comes to market and is capable of doing what we see in mice, then there will also be approved trials by doctors to treat other ailments. And the hope is that people will then start to see the other benefits." Included in those other benefits are nearly all the things you see when mitochondria are working properly: abundant energy, improved memory, reduced chance of heart disease and cancer — the list goes on.

Sinclair says that sometimes people complain about what he's doing, but he insists they simply don't understand it.
"I occasionally get letters from people saying, 'I'm 75, I can barely walk, I'm in pain — the last thing I want is a pill that extends my life.' " His voice falls to a near-whisper. "I think they miss the point. People think we're extending the final years of life, when what we're actually doing is increasing the years of youth. So it's keeping people out of nursing homes, not keeping them alive longer in nursing homes."
Given all of that, the more intriguing question might be this: What impact could these drugs have on society? Sinclair believes that reducing levels of age-related diseases would create a huge economic benefit to society. "If you make people live longer in a healthy way, it's far cheaper," he says. "I've read that if you reduce one disease — cancer, for example — by 10 percent, the savings to the United States would be about $5 trillion. Well, we're talking about drugs reducing disease maybe more than 10 percent — and many of them at once."
The more profound impact may be on each of us individually. On a practical level, you'd no longer be able to retire at 65. On the positive side, you'd have more years to enjoy the things you love, and probably watch your great-grandchildren grow up. And on a deeper level, perhaps the very arc of your life would be affected. In a world where 95 is the new 65, and 65 the new 40, would we stop going to school in our early 20s, or would we extend education another decade or so? Or go for repeated educations and careers? And how about marriage — would most of us still marry before we're 30? Would one spouse remain the ideal, or would we slap a 50-year expiration date on marriage and change partners later in life?

It's a lucky thing that mitochondria give us energy; we're going to need plenty.

For Sinclair, any complications pale in comparison to the benefits. "When I was working for my Ph.D., my mom got lung cancer. The doctor said, basically, say goodbye to your mom — there's only a 5 percent chance she'll survive. It was pretty traumatic for her and us kids. And for a time I wasn't going to come to the United States because I figured I might never see her again. But I resolved that if I was going to leave her, I would devote myself to making practical use of discoveries.
"Fortunately, she's still alive. But that was a turning point in my life. People probably think I'm just spinning it, but I'm only doing this because I want to help people and prevent them from dying. Or delay it, at least."
Despite his heroics in baseball's postseason, Rocco Baldelli isn't cured — and he knows it. He's said that he sleeps twice as much as he used to, and he takes a daily cocktail of medications to combat his condition. His baseball future is unclear, as well: A few days after the Rays lost the World Series, Baldelli became a free agent. "I don't anticipate that the state of my health will be changing," he told a sportswriter recently, but that doesn't mean he's without hope. Sinclair and the team at Sirtris are currently conducting trials of their resveratrol formulation on a number of conditions, including Baldelli's disease. Results of that study are expected in the first half of 2009, and as any Tampa Bay Rays team member knows, miracles do happen sometimes.

- Power up your workout -

Want to burn more fat? Focus on your mitochondria. These microscopic generators turn nutrients, including fat, into fuel for your muscle cells. The more intensely you exercise, the more mitochondria you bring online, which means your muscles can work harder and longer, according to Men's Health advisor Alex Koch, Ph.D., an exercise scientist at Truman State University. To boost your energy output, use this 3-day cardio workout from Koch. You can do it on a flat surface outside, a treadmill, or a stationary bike. Bonus: Interval plans like this one have been shown to torch more calories per minute to help you lose belly fat as you add mitochondria.

How to do it: Warm up with 5 minutes of easy jogging or cycling. For each workout, gauge your intensity by estimating your effort on a scale of 1 (sitting on the couch) to 10 (the hardest you can go). Then follow the directions for each day below.

Monday and Friday

Sprint for 15 seconds at an intensity of 9; recover for 30 seconds at an intensity of 3 to 4. That's one interval. Repeat according to the chart.

Wednesday

For this workout, run or cycle continuously for 10 minutes at an intensity of 6. Each week, try to progress so you're eventually exercising for a total of 30 minutes.

MONDAY FRIDAY
Week 1 5 intervals 5 intervals
Week 2 6 intervals 5 intervals
Week 3 6 intervals 6 intervals
Week 4 7 intervals 6 intervals
Week 5 7 intervals 7 intervals
Week 6 8 intervals 7 intervals
Week 7 8 intervals 8 intervals

Article by:Tom McGrath, Men's Health.

Shira Chadasha Boys Choir

2009-02-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

Scientists unlock Mystery - Early Molecular Mechanism

2009-02-24T19:43:00.001-07:00

Montreal scientists unlock mystery of early molecular mechanism

Two Montreal researchers have proposed a new theory for a question that has long vexed evolutionary biologists: How did a mechanism thought to help build life self-assemble?
20/02/2009 3:49:04 PM

Sergey Steinberg, a biochemistry professor at the University of Montreal, found the answer in the ribosome, a relatively large mechanism within the cell that takes RNA instruction and builds proteins.

His discovery, made with student Konstantin Bokov, has been published in the scientific journal Nature.

Scientists have long wondered how chemicals spontaneously came together to create proteins before life itself began.

Steinberg and Bokov's theory fills in a critical step in how life got started four billion years ago, said Stephen Michnick, the Canada Research Chair in Integrative Genomics at the University of Montreal.

A key breakthrough came when Steinberg found that chemicals could spontaneously come together and form something as complex as a ribosome. Previous theories had suggested only simple proteins could form spontaneously.

This had been shown in a seminal experiment in the 1950s in which basic chemicals were combined in a flask, heated and zapped with electricity, creating basic proteins as a result.

But proving that chemicals can spontaneously form simple proteins did not prove that spontaneous action could create more complex mechanisms.

"In the absence of such explanations, some people could imagine unseen forces at work when such complex structures emerge in nature," said Steinberg.

Steinberg was able to show otherwise. He found the ribosome was put together using relatively simple structural rules, a bit like a three-dimensional puzzle. For critics who ask why spontaneous formation didn't lead to something other than the ribosome, Steinberg used mathematical models to show there was no other possibility. The ribosome simply wouldn't hold together if it were constructed any other way.

"The assembly followed rules that were logical and for which there were no alternatives," said Michnick. "This forces us to think about bigger structures. This type of thinking is important to understanding all sorts of structure."

For instance, the next step might be to consider why proteins begin to form wrongly spontaneously.

Several neurodegenerative diseases occur when proteins start to malform, said Michnick. Steinberg's research could give insight in how that happens, and why.

The Good You Do...

2009-02-20T18:34:00.001-07:00

The good you do today,
people will often forget
tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

~ Mother Theresa

Green Comet Approaches Earth 02.04.2009

2009-02-20T18:22:00.002-07:00

02.04.2009

February 4, 2009: In 1996, a 7-year-old boy in China
bent over the eyepiece of a small telescope and saw
something that would change his life--a comet of
flamboyant beauty, bright and puffy with an active
tail. At first he thought he himself had discovered
it, but no, he learned, two men named "Hale" and "Bopp"
had beat him to it. Mastering his disappointment, young
Quanzhi Ye resolved to find his own comet one day.

And one day, he did.

Fast forward to a summer afternoon in July 2007. Ye,
now 19 years old and a student of meteorology at China's
Sun Yat-sen University, bent over his desk to stare at a
black-and-white star field. The photo was taken nights
before by Taiwanese astronomer Chi Sheng Lin on "sky patrol"
at the Lulin Observatory. Ye's finger moved from point to
point--and stopped. One of the stars was not a star, it was
a comet, and this time Ye saw it first.

Comet Lulin, named after the observatory in Taiwan where the
discovery-photo was taken, is now approaching Earth. "It is a
green beauty that could become visible to the naked eye any day
now," says Ye.

"My retired eyes still cannot see the brightening comet," says
Newton, "but my 14-inch telescope picked it up quite nicely on
Feb. 1st."

The comet makes its closest approach to Earth (0.41 AU) on
Feb. 24, 2009. Current estimates peg the maximum brightness at
4th or 5th magnitude, which means dark country skies would be
required to see it. No one can say for sure, however, because
this appears to be Lulin's first visit to the inner solar system
and its first exposure to intense sunlight. Surprises are possible.

Lulin's green color comes from the gases that make up its
Jupiter-sized atmosphere. Jets spewing from the comet's nucleus
contain cyanogen (CN: a poisonous gas found in many comets) and
diatomic carbon (C2). Both substances glow green when illuminated
by sunlight in the near-vacuum of space.

In 1910, many people panicked when astronomers revealed Earth
would pass through the cyanogen-rich tail of Comet Halley.
False alarm: The wispy tail of the comet couldn't penetrate
Earth's dense atmosphere; even it if had penetrated, there wasn't
enough cyanogen to cause real trouble. Comet Lulin will cause even
less trouble than Halley did. At closest approach in late February,
Lulin will stop 38 million miles short of Earth, utterly harmless.

To see Comet Lulin with your own eyes, set your alarm for 3 am.
The comet rises a few hours before the sun and may be found about
1/3rd of the way up the southern sky before dawn. Here are some
dates when it is especially easy to find:

Feb. 6th: Comet Lulin glides by Zubenelgenubi, a double star at the
fulcrum of Libra's scales. Zubenelgenubi is not only fun to say
(zuBEN-el-JA-newbee), but also a handy guide. You can see Zubenelgenubi
with your unaided eye (it is about as bright as stars in the Big Dipper);
binoculars pointed at the binary star reveal Comet Lulin in beautiful
proximity. [sky map]

Feb. 16th: Comet Lulin passes Spica in the constellation Virgo.
Spica is a star of first magnitude and a guidepost even city
astronomers cannot miss. A finderscope pointed at Spica will
capture Comet Lulin in the field of view, centering the optics
within a nudge of both objects. [sky map]

Feb. 24th: Closest approach! On this special morning, Lulin will
lie just a few degrees from Saturn in the constellation Leo. Saturn
is obvious to the unaided eye, and Lulin could be as well. If this
doesn't draw you out of bed, nothing will. [sky map]

Ye notes that Comet Lulin is remarkable not only for its rare beauty,
but also for its rare manner of discovery. "This is a 'comet of
collaboration' between Taiwanese and Chinese astronomers," he says.
"The discovery could not have been made without a contribution from
both sides of the Strait that separates our countries. Chi Sheng Lin
and other members of the Lulin Observatory staff enabled me to get the
images I wanted, while I analyzed the data and found the comet."

Somewhere this month, Ye imagines, another youngster will bend over
an eyepiece, see Comet Lulin, and feel the same thrill he did gazing
at Comet Hale-Bopp in 1996. And who knows where that might lead...?

"I hope that my experience might inspire other young people to pursue
the same starry dreams as myself," says Ye.

Cars That Will Keep You Single

2009-02-20T11:52:00.002-07:00

By Isaac Adams-Hands

Most of us know on a subconscious level the kind
of vehicle we own says a lot about who we are.
It's often easy to determine interests, marital
status, age and income from the type of vehicles
we drive.

AMC Pacer
---------
Usually we aim to have our cars exude the best about
us - or at least what we want people to think is the
best about us. That's why men going through mid-life
crises go for a Ferrari or a Corvette: it's about power
and virility. Ambitious Bay Street types drive off the
lot with Jaguars, BMWs or Japan's crème de la crème.
In this case it's different as it's all about the dough.

Singles looking to hook up usually opt for what's marketed
as sexy, cute and exciting even if the people behind the
wheel are anything but.

Gallery: Cars that will keep you single
There's a flip-side to this though: what about the cars
that are sure to leave you in permanent celibacy? Get
behind the wheel of some of these beauties and you may
as well spend your Saturday nights watching Star Trek
re-runs while playing Second Life online:

Minivans, especially the Dodge Caravan
--------------------------------------

Dodge Caravan
-------------
I'm sure that the minivan is great for a weekend getaway
with the boys to a football game, or shepherding kids to
hockey practice as it has tons of room for you, passengers,
and their luggage. The minivan is known as the people-mover
designed for maximum interior room. Sadly, Chrysler wasn't
focused on making it appear cool and attractive to the
opposite sex.

Chevrolet Camaro (third-generation)
-----------------------------------
The third-generation Camaro, launched in 1982, was the
first Camaro to feature throttle body fuel injection
and a four-speed automatic transmission. This generation
also spawned the much noted IROC-Z. Although cool in its
day, if you are still driving a Camaro around these days
with the bikini-icon air freshener while blasting AC/DC
from your cassette player, you'd certainly grab people's
attention - the wrong type of attention.

Chrysler Dynasty
----------------
The name Dynasty is believed to be a reference to the
popular 1980s primetime TV series Dynasty, though, in
all likelihood it's a reference to Chrysler's
luxury-themed vehicles such as the Imperial and New York.
In reality, the Dynasty has a much different image. Actor
Bryan Cranston, who played the character Hal on the TV
series "Malcolm in the Middle," drives a blue Dodge Dynasty.
So unless you want to give off a persona like Hal (miserably
married with three troublesome kids), or let people
know you actually hit your peak in the 80s, I suggest you
stay away from the nasty Dynasty.

E-350 Econoline
---------------
The Ford E-Series and Club Wagon currently holds 49.6
per cent of the full-size van market in the North America.
It has been the best-selling North American full-sized van
for the last 26 years. But that doesn't mean you should ever,
under any circumstance, bring a date out in one of these vans.
Unless you want to look like a garden-variety stalker or an
airport shuttle-bus chauffeur.

Geo Metro (Pontiac Firefly/Suzuki Swift)
----------------------------------------

Geo Metro Sedan
---------------
Geo's Metro - also sold as the Suzuki Swift and the
Pontiac Firefly in Canada - was GM's subcompact
offering through the '90s. Slightly larger than the
Chevrolet Sprint it replaced, it boasted more safety
and convenience features, though you never really felt
"safe" while driving the Metro. One of the most
fuel-efficient vehicles in its day, it personifies the
term frugal. No wait, make that cheap.

Pontiac Fiero
--------------
Pontiac's Fiero was the first - and only - mass-produced
mid-engined two-seat sports car produced by a domestic
automaker. Certainly, it seemed worthy of its
name - Fiero means "proud" in Italian. However, not all went
well. The Fiero suffered reliability issues include
problems with engine fires. It has been labeled by some
as an icon of its time; unfortunately that puts it in the
same category as should puffy shoulder pads, leg warmers and
big hair.

Pontiac Aztek
-------------
The Aztek was marketed as a car-based "crossover SUV,"
with popular amenities, adequate cargo capacity,
elevated seating height all wrapped up in an active
outdoor-lifestyle theme.

While it had fewer drawbacks associated with traditional
SUVs (poor gas mileage, uncomfortable ride, high step-in
height, a penchant for rollovers), the designers forgot
one thing: styling a vehicle that didn't look like it
belonged in a post-apocalypse movie.

Toyota Corolla
--------------
In 1997, the Toyota Corolla became the bestselling car
in the world, with over 30 million sold as of 2007. Over
the past 40 years, one Toyota Corolla car has been sold
on average every 40 seconds. That sounds good, but
consider what you're saying to the world: "Hey, babe,
I'm just the same as 30 million other people!"

Most relics from the 1970s
--------------------------
It was a decade that brought lots of great, cool things:
Jaws, Led Zeppelin, the personal computer, and the Walkman.
It also brought some not-so-great stuff: Watergate,
ultra-wide lapels and disco. Add to that last
list a host of cars that shouldn't have been released in the
first place: AMC's dynamic duo of the Pacer and Gremlin,
Chevrolet's Chevette,the Buick Regal and Ford's Pinto.

-------------------------------------------------------

Ruin Your Date With These Movies
By Stephanie McGrath
Talk about Knocked Up, not When Harry Met Sally

If I may paraphrase from the flick / book High Fidelity
for a moment: it’s not intense conversations about our
political or religious beliefs that really get the
chemistry clicking on a first date. Nothing electrifies
the air between two potentially-interested-in-each-other
individuals like the magical discovery that: We like the
same movies! We’ve read the same books! We were both at
that Radiohead concert in 2000 so, OMG, it must be fate!

Yes dear friends, pop culture can stoke the flames of
love. With this in mind, we’d like to send you off on
your next hook-up with some notes about movies you
SHOULD NOT admit to adoring during your initial
meet-and-greet. You can like them in private, and if
your relationship stands the test of time ... then and
only then, can you pull those embarrassing DVDs out of
your closet and show them off.

Star Trek
---------

So ... you’re out for a glass of wine and maybe some
snacks. Your date looks lovely by candlelight. You
lean over and whisper “I am SO excited for the next
Star Trek flick ... but can you believe William Shatner
isn’t going to be in it?” NO! WRONG! ABORT, ABORT! If you
really like sci-fi/ space flicks and you want to test the
waters, how about you try a hipster approach like this:
“Joss Whedon is so underrated. I mean, forget Buffy, how
awesome was Firefly and the movie Serenity?” This lets you
acknowledge your sci-fi addiction, while seeming cool at
the same time.

When Harry Met Sally
--------------------

Sure, you watch this over and over when you’re sick or
just hanging out on a rainy afternoon. But nobody needs
to know. Want a turn off? Here’s one: “I LOVE that
movie ... it’s so true, friends really make the best
partners. And that restaurant scene? Hilarious.” Ick.
Nothing wrong with a little romance, but if you want to
reveal your dreamy side but stay cool at the same time,
how about something along the lines of: “You know who’s
a comedic genius? Judd Apatow. 40 Year Old Virgin? Awesome.
Superbad? Fab. Knocked Up? I mean you’ve got to hand it to
a guy who can make a romantic comedy that doesn’t put you
into sugar shock.” See what I did right there? Admitted to
liking romantic comedy while at the same time displaying
my appreciation for raunchy humour.

Armageddon
----------

So you like explosions. Who doesn’t? But admitting
love for Aerosmith, Ben Affleck and expeditions to
drill things in outer space does not a good impression
make. Want to admit a fascination for Bruce Willis
flicks? Try this: “Okay, it may be cheesy, but there’s
nothing like a Die Hard marathon in the middle of a
snowstorm. Yipee Ki Yay and all that.” See? You sound
nonchalant whilst at the same time admitting your
affection for big budget blockbusters.

Orson Welles directs Citizen Kane,

Citizen Kane
------------

Yes, we all like to sound knowledgeable and yes, Citizen
Kane is considered by most to be the finest film ever made.
HOWEVER, there is a fine line between being a well-versed
movie fan and being obnoxiously pretentious. Waxing
intellectual about Citizen Kane? Over the top. Don’t do it.
Want to sound smart and reference some classics? Joke about
your love of Hitchcock and how watching Psycho as a child
made you fear showers as an adult or get all tough and go
on a Goodfellas/Taxi Driver tangent for a bit. Just avoid
the Kane!

Steel Magnolias
---------------

Just don’t go there. Please. We all like a good cry now
and then but admitting you love this movie is just
embarrassing for everyone. If you must admit affection
for Julia Roberts, say something like, “Every now and
then I like to kick it old school and watch Mystic Pizza.”
If Dolly Parton is your game, how about “9 to 5 is hilarious,
nothing like a little retro comedy.”

Here are a few more films we’d prefer you not share your love
for on a first date:

Anything by the Wayans

Anything in the post- Fisher King Robin Williams era

Godfather III (cause that’s just baaaaaaaaaaad)

Hugh Grant movies

The Notebook

Movie musicals

And go easy on the comic book movie talk. A little
is okay,but don’t start going on and on and on about
various films’
loyalty to their origins.

Here are a few films that are good conversation starters:

Better Off Dead (hilarious John Cusack action)

Being John Malkovich

Lost in Translation

Swingers

Eastern Promises

Cheesy horror films

Pan’s Labyrinth

Ghost Busters

Good luck! Happy pop culture meshing!

SchultenHauf's personal comment about above article
Herr Schulta - Cam
In my opinion of theses two above articles:
Althought this comment 'Cars that will keep you single'
is very entertaining, I think it holds no true value
in a free society such as Canada, USA, etc. It is true
that there are a lot of lemon cars out there but what
about freedom of choice. Isaac Adam Hands would like
to believe that we must drive a car that says we are
oh so very sexy all the time and that we are a super
stud so as to attract the ladies. Who says we want to
portray that. Some of us in society just want to live
and let live. We want to do our thing and don't want
to be bothered with all the hype over whos getting the
girl and whos getting laid tonight. And personally,
who the hell gives a damn anyway. Any woman or man for
that matter who is looking for a mate solely based on
how much money they have or how much wealth they have
isnt worth a fiddlers fart anyway and is likely to dump
their present man or woman as soon as something more
prosperous comes along. You can't take it with you so
enjoy what YOU WANT to drive.
As for Stephanie McGrath's article about 'Ruin your date
with these movies' who cares, a movie is a movie and
like most people, I like some and dislike others, so watch
what you and your date likes. These two people Isaac and
Stephanie both belong in a communistic society where
government dictates what you can and can't do. It is high
time they both face reality and realize that people will
do as they wish, not as they should do to make their life
all rosy. We do not live in a rose garden and besides my
dear I did not promise you a rose garden and quite frankly,
I don't give a damn. What do I drive you might ask.
I drive a 2004 40th Anniversary Limited Edition Ford Mustang
Convertible. It is deep red or maroon in color
with a wide grey stripe running across the hood. Now how
goshe is that? and yes, it did get me the girl. We are
getting married on April 10th 2009 and what is more
interesting is she loves me for me, not my car or wealth and
she loves Ford Mustangs as well and wants her own some day.
How Cool!

Heaven is Never Too Far

2009-02-17T22:03:00.001-07:00

Her hair was up in a pony tail,

her favourite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school,

and she couldn't wait to go.

But her mummy tried to tell her,

that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand,

if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid;

she knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates

of why he wasn't there today.

But still her mother worried,

for her to face this day alone.

And that was why once again,

she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school

eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees

a dad who never calls.

There
were daddies along the back wall,

for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently,

anxious in their seats

One by one the teacher called

a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy,

as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name,

every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching,

a man who wasn't there.

'Where's her daddy at?'

She heard a boy call out.

'She probably doesn't have one,'

another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back,

she heard a daddy say,

'Looks like another deadbeat dad,

too busy to waste his day.'

The words did not offend her,

as she smiled up at her Mum.

And looked back at her teacher,

who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back,

slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child,

came words incredibly unique.

'My Daddy couldn't be here,

because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be,

since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him,

I wanted you to know.

All about my daddy,

and how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories

he taught me to ride my bike.

He surprised me with pink roses,

and taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes,

and ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him.

I'm not standing here alone.

'Cause my daddy's always with me,

even though we are apart

I know because he told me,

he'll forever be in my heart'

With that, her little hand reached up,

and lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat,

beneath her favourite dress.

And from
somewhere in the crowd of dads,

her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter,

who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love

of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her,

doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down,

staring straight into the crowd.

She finished with a voice so soft,

but its message clear and loud.

'I love my daddy very much,

he's my shining star.

And if he could, he'd be here,

but heaven's just too far.

You see he is a soldier

And died just this past year

When a roadside bomb hit his convoy

and taught brave men to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes,

it's like he never went away.'

And then she closed her eyes,

and saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement,

she witnessed with surprise.

A room full of daddies and children,

all starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them,

who knows what they felt inside.

Perhaps for merely a second,

they saw him at her side.

'I know you're with me Daddy,'

to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers,

of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it,

for each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her,

was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment,

by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing,

that heaven is never too far.

SHEESH...And I Thought I Was Smart!

2009-02-17T21:54:00.003-07:00

Quiz

Below are four (4) questions and a Bonus question to test your perception, reasoning and the quickness of your logical processing.
They are stated simply so you should try to answer them instantly.
To assure the accuracy of the results, you should not take your time , but instead, answer each of them immediately.

OK?

Let's find out just how clever you really are....

Ready? GO!!! (scroll down slowly to uncover Q's and A's )

First Question :

You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer : If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely WRONG! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, YOU are in second place!

Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, but don't take as much time as you took for the first question, OK?

Second Question :
I f you overtake the last person, then you are...? (scroll down)

Answer : If you answered that you are second to last, then you are ; ; ; ;WRONG again. Tell me Sunshine, how can you overtake the LAST person??

You're not very good at this, are you?

Third Question :
Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 Now add 30 . Add another 1000 . Now add 20 . Now add another 1000 . Now add 10 . What is the total?

Scroll down for the correct answer.....

Did you get 5000 ?

The correct answer is actually 4100 ..

If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it ?

Maybe you'll get the last question right... Maybe...

Fourth Question:

Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono, and ??? What is the name of the fifth daughter?

Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary ! Read the question again!

Okay, now the Bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

It's really very simple He opens his mouth and ask for it... Does your employer actually pay you to think?? If so Do NOT let them see your answers for this test!

What Do Retired People Do All Day???

2009-02-17T19:58:00.002-07:00

Working people frequently ask retired people
what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I
went into town and went into a shop.
We were only in there for about 5 minutes.

When we came out,there was a cop writing out
a parking ticket.We went up to him and said:

'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen
a break?'

He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

I called him a Nazi turd.
He glared at me and started writing another ticket
for having worn tyres.
So my wife called him a shit-head.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the
windshield with the first.
Then he started writing a third ticket.

This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care.

We came into town by bus.
We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired.
It's important at our age.

A Modern Parable

2009-02-17T19:53:00.001-07:00

Like any good parable, this applies to far more than the auto industry.

A Japanese company (Toyota) and an
American company (Ford Motors)
decided to have a canoe race on the
Missouri River. Both teams
practiced long and hard to reach
their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by
a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and
depressed, decided to investigate
the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior
management was formed to investigate
and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese
had 8 people rowing and 1 person
steering, while the American team
had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order;
American management hired a
consulting company and paid them a
large amount of money for a second
opinion.

They advised, of course, that too
many people were steering the boat,
while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that
information, but wanting to prevent
another loss to the Japanese, the
rowing team's management structure
was totally reorganized to 4
steering supervisors, 2 area steering
superintendents and 1 assistant
superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new
performance system that would give the 2
people rowing the boat greater
incentive to work harder. It was called
the 'Rowing Team Quality First
Program,' with meetings, dinners and free
pens for the rowers. There was
discussion of getting new paddles,
canoes and other equipment, extra
vacation days for practices and
bonuses. The pension program was
trimmed to 'equal the competition' and
some of the resultant savings were
channeled into morale boosting
programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by
two miles.

Humiliated, the American management
laid-off one rower, halted
development of a new canoe, sold all
the paddles, and canceled all
capital investments for new
equipment. The money saved was distributed
to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the
lone designated rower was unable to
even finish the race (having no
paddles,) so he was laid off for
unacceptable performance, all canoe
equipment was sold and the next
year's racing team was out-sourced
to **India**.

Sadly, the end.

Here's something else to think
about: Ford has spent the last thirty
years moving all its factories out
of the USA, claiming they can't
make money paying American wages.

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty
years building more than a dozen
plants inside the USA. The last
quarter's results:

TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits
while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching
their heads, and collecting bonuses...

...and now wants the
Government to 'bail them out'.

**IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE, IT MIGHT
BE FUNNY*

May your day be a ' Shay Day '

2009-02-17T19:41:00.002-07:00

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its
dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the
plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . The smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

A wise man once said:
every society is judged by how it treats
it's least fortunate amongst them.

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Married Life

2009-02-17T19:27:00.001-07:00

MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING!

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, Coochy Coo?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,' he answered. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?' She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, Lollipop ... but at the bar... You know .. they have frozen glasses... '

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be! right back. I promise. OK?'

'You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

'But my sweet honey... at the bar you know there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?'

and....they lived happily ever after.
Now,isn't that a sweet story.

2008 Darwin Awards - for Stupidity

2009-02-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

Here are the glorious winners:

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbour News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with your friends and family... Unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long-lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

*** Remember... They walk among us!!! ***

The Elevator

2009-02-11T22:27:00.001-07:00

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed
by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that
could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?"

The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have
never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a rather
heavy,not too attractive, older lady walked up to the moving walls and
pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a
small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to
watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in
the reverse order.
Finally the walls opened up again and a beautiful, young woman
stepped out.
The father, said quietly to his son, "Go get your Mother,
we're going to turn her into a beautiful woman".

Only Great Minds Can Read this

2009-01-31T00:03:00.001-07:00

This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

One Giveth, The Other Taketh Away

2009-01-30T12:05:00.002-07:00

Nifty overall tax cuts announced yesterday "One Giveth, the Other Taketh Away" as quoted by the Canadian finance Minister 'Jim Flaherty.'
Sounds good but who has a clue how it will shake down on our tax returns.
At www.budget.gc.ca is a 'tax saving calculator.'
It seems to suggest the average adult will pay about $150 to $200 dollars less in Canadian federal taxes, To be gobbled up of course by increased city taxes and fees.
But never fear, the Canadian tax board is very generous to their taxpayers. They give you free income tax filing forms.

No Election Please

2009-01-30T11:43:00.002-07:00

This joke is set for Canada
For this joke to work everywhere, please use the names of your 3 top elected Government officials, such as: your Prime Minister or president, Your state or provincial premier, your secretary of state...etc. etc. etc.
Now on with the joke

"No Election Please"

Stephen Harper, Michael Ignatieff, and Jack Layton are on an airplane. "You know," says Michael to Stephen, "I could throw a $1,000 dollar bill out the window right now and make someone very happy."
Stephen shrugs. "I could throw ten $100 dollar bills out the window right now and make ten people happy."
Not to be outdone, Jack pipes up, "I could throw a hundred $10 dollar bills out the window right now and make a hundred people happy."
The pilot rolls his eyes upward and says to his co-pilot, "I could throw the three of those goofs out the window and make all 32 million citizens of Canada Happy."

How to Protect Yourself from the end of America

2009-01-27T00:26:00.001-07:00

The current economic problems have their roots in one major thing: the vast expansion of debt in the United States over the last three decades.

Americans have borrowed far more money than they can ever hope to repay. Much of this debt is tied to residential real estate, but there are also record amounts of credit-card, commercial real estate, and public (state and federal) debt.

Starting in 2006, when mortgage debts began to sour, asset prices began to fall – even though employment and wages remained strong. The only time that's ever happened before was in the early stages of the Great Depression. This marked the beginning of the great "unwinding" as the excess debt began to unravel. The result has been a sustained decline in the underlying asset prices upon which layer after layer of debt had been securitized.

Declining asset prices and the large amount of mortgage debt already outstanding make it virtually impossible for the private sector to create any additional credit.

And because Americans (in aggregate) have not saved a penny in almost a generation, there's no way to keep the economy going. Americans have become credit junkies. Without more credit, America's economy falls apart. But according to the Federal Reserve, outstanding U.S. consumer credit fell in November by $7.9 billion – the largest monthly decline ever. That's a 3.7% annualized decline in consumer credit. That's never happened before – not since 1943, when the records begin. Credit-card balances declined by $2.8 billion, and auto loans declined by $5.2 billion.

The declines in credit made a huge impact on consumer demand. Car sales fell by record amounts in December (32%), and retail sales fell across the board at Christmas. It was the worst holiday retail results in more than four decades. These declines to credit set the stage for what would normally be a long-lasting recession and a massive decline in asset prices. Imagine how far car prices would fall if it became impossible to get a car loan. Imagine how far home prices would fall if it became impossible to get a mortgage.

But the U.S. government has one weapon no other country has – the world's reserve currency. The government clearly plans to make up for the shortfall in consumer demand by increased spending. The U.S. budget deficit for 2009 is now projected to be $1.1 trillion – more than 8% of GDP. Only during World War I and World War II did the government ever have bigger annual deficits. None of these figures include any of the new stimulus packages Barack Obama has promised, which means the actual deficit next year might grow to $2 trillion – around 15% of GDP.

Given our total debt already exceeds $10 trillion, it seems improbable this level of deficit spending can continue without sparking a run on the dollar via foreign governments selling U.S. Treasury bonds. No one believes our creditors will ever sell the dollar. But they're wrong. Our creditors will not allow us to print money forever.

South Korea is one of the largest holders of U.S. Treasury bonds. On January 19, the head of investments for South Korea's government pension service, Kim Heeseok, told Bloomberg, "It's time to sell U.S. Treasuries" because the ongoing stimulus is going to cause inflation. We are squandering and destroying the greatest advantage of our country – control over the world's reserve currency.

In 2009, we will see government spending approach 30% of GDP. Our government is now bigger, as a percentage of our economy, than the socialist states of Europe, excluding their health care expenditures. And these figures don't reflect the Federal Reserve's actions. The Fed has tripled the size of its balance sheet, creating enormous amounts of new money by lending to hundreds of ailing banks and buying up more than $1 trillion worth of questionable asset-backed securities. This month, the Fed pledged to buy yet another $500 billion of Fannie- and Freddie-guaranteed mortgage securities, helping to force mortgage interest rates down.

This is how America ends – with the lie that we all can live at the expense of our neighbor and borrow endlessly. Rather than simply face a downturn in the economy, we plan to borrow trillions of dollars our children and grandchildren will be forced to repay. Rather than let all those people and institutions that took on too much debt (like GM) be liquidated and restructured, we plan to risk a hyperinflation. Rather than insist homeowners who can't afford their mortgages lose their homes, we would jeopardize the credit rating of the country.

It is all madness. None of the government's bailout plans will solve any of the problems. The government can only shift the burden of the failures. Instead of bondholders and shareholders being wiped out, taxpayers are put on the hook. These actions will temporarily resuscitate the economy – but cause a permanent decline in the value of the dollar.

Fortunately for us, we have several ways to protect ourselves from what will happen. First, make sure to own physical gold and silver. A dollar run will send precious metals much higher. Second, own the highest-quality stocks in the world. And third, sell any long-dated U.S. government bonds you own. As the dollar loses its value and inflation returns to the economy, much of the value of these government IOUs will be wiped out.

I'm not happy to be the one to tell you all this. I hope I'm dead wrong. But it's paramount you take at least some measure of the precautionary steps I've just described. Bigger government is coming... and in the long run, it's going to make things worse.

Good investing,

By Porter Stansberry

God's Glory

2009-01-27T00:16:00.002-07:00

GOD in all his Glory made Bluebirds and Sunsets
~Quote by: Cameron Schulte~

The Man's Rules

2009-01-04T01:57:00.001-07:00

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the Rules "
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS!

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but i t is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

Self Worth

2008-12-29T12:46:00.000-07:00

The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money.

--Author Unknown

Four and Twent Yankees

2008-12-27T12:56:00.001-07:00

Four & twenty Yankees became rather dry
They came up to Canada & bought a case of Rye
When the Rye was opened they began to sing
To hell with the President but God save the King

Polish Divorce

2008-12-10T20:14:00.001-07:00

Polish Divorce

2008-12-10T20:08:00.004-07:00

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce.

Have you any grounds?

Yes, an acre and a half, a nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It is made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a grudge?
No, we have a carport, and not need one.

I mean, what are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player

Does your wife beat you up?

No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.

What makes you think that? I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle at a drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it says 'Polish Remover'

Echo Canyon - This one's real cute

2008-11-11T20:03:00.001-07:00

While hiking in the mountains one day, I came across a gorgeous gorge that I thought was an echo canyon. I shouted, "Hello there." But the response sounded to me like, "Hello where?"

I tried again. "How do you do?"

A moment later, the report came back sounding like, "How do I do what?"

Baffled and amused, I decided to give it the ultimate test. "You're not really an echo canyon, are you?"

The response from the big ditch confirmed my suspicions. "Brilliant deduction, Einstein."

Give Me A Break!

2008-11-10T11:48:00.000-07:00

Harold found the following ransom note slipped under his front door: "Bring $50,000 to the seventeenth hole of your country club tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. if you ever want to see your wife alive again."

But it was well after 1:00 p.m. by the time he arrived at the designated meeting spot. A masked man stepped from behind a bush and demanded, "You're three hours late. What took you so long?"

"Give me a break!" said Harold, pointing to his scorecard. "I'm a 27 handicap."

To Pre - Nup or Not To Pre - Nup

2008-10-21T19:40:00.002-06:00

Are pre-nuptial agreements a good idea before you wed, or do they just cause resentment and distrust for the lucky couple? (Click by Lavalife)

Meet Sexy Singles
Five ways to boost your bond
Rekindle or move on?
Settlements of the Rich & Weird

It’s a sensitive topic, right up there with exes, religion and hybrid cars.

If you're thinking about a long-term commitment, should you sign something so your partner doesn't wind up with your family heirlooms and half of your cat?

Along with vetting your date through Google, testing for STDs, and finding out if your partner believes the Mayans were descended from an alien race, the pre-nup has become one of the cornerstones of modern romance.

Settlements of the Rich & Weird

Things might be hunky-dory in the honeymoon stage, but we've all heard enough stories of true love gone awry to know that one day the pheremonal rush wears off, replaced by a loathing for the way the person you live with brushes their teeth.

"If I had money and the person I was dating didn't -- say, I was dating a musician -- I would definitely want a pre-nup," says Carla B. Still in her 20s, the blonde immigration officer says she would demand a pre-nup if either party had considerably more assets than the other, particularly if someone's assets included "old money" -- that is, sizable family coffers dating back to dear old ancestors.

"It's different if you make it while you're together, but if it goes back in the family, that's something else," she says.

Carla said her biggest fear is ending up like her friend, who dated a millionaire, had two kids with him and became a stay-at-home mom. Now, she lives in a basement apartment with an eight and a 10-year-old.

Another Karla, Karla V., has hooked up with a younger man who came into some money as the result of a settlement following a motorcycle accident. Four months after starting to see each other, he was suggesting marriage. "I said it was a little soon," she says. She was the one who brought up the subject of the pre-nup. "I started seeing him before I knew about the money," she says. "He didn't want to sign one. He said, 'What's mine is yours.'"

Why sign at all? As Carla with a C points out, it's easier than ever to meet someone, thanks to the Internet, which was in fact invented by divorce lawyers (OK, we're making that up. But think about it). Long-term commitments are more daunting then ever.

Jessica D., a West Coast concert promoter, believes in pre-nups, particularly if they hold a step-out clause. That is, if the partner is stepping out (read: getting sex on the side), there should be some financial reckoning. "If you step out, buck up, baby," says Jessica. It could make the stepper-outer think twice -- but then, if only money is holding back the partner, how healthy can the relationship be?

Financial protection is only one reason to sign a pre-nup. Done right, the document can, believe it or not, be a way to further cement your lurv.

Discussing a pre-nup gets the issue of finances out in the open. Curtis wed his wife a decade ago to prevent her deportation back to her native Australia. When he did, he was made financially responsible for her for 10 years.

Despite some small debts, the kind you incur while in your 20s (student loans, maxing out your credit cards to make experimental art films), the two have done well -- they're still together, thanks in no small part to the fact that finances have been on the table since the very beginning. "That's the number one thing couples argue about," said Curtis. "It's the elephant in the room."

Dave S. points out drawing up a pre-nup is a chance to be generous. "It's a chance to say 'Here, this is what I think you deserve for putting up with my hockey-loving friends.'"

Dave, who goes out of his way to be generous, is nevertheless reluctant to marry his girlfriend because he doesn't want to be responsible for the considerable debt she racked up before they met.

Which brings up another point -- the psychology of the individual. How is your partner when it comes to money? Do they pinch their pennies and keep a running mental (or physical) tab on who owes what? Are they always threatening lawsuits for a burnt falafel? If they spill coffee on themselves are they ready to start a class-action suit against Starbucks? Do they have friends who are lawyers? If so, you might want to think about drawing something up even before the dinner bill arrives on the first date.

But if they're reckless with their money, if they think nothing of throwing money away on frivolous things, they might be less likely to be mercenary when it comes to getting something out of the relationship financially. These are people who don't spend a lot of time thinking about money, and unless they have friends who do, they are likely to just want to cut their losses rather than engage in an extended battle for compensation.

Settlements of the Rich & Weird

The pre-nup is also a way to establish "net worth" (as opposed to "you-have-eyes-like-limpid-pools" worth). That way you know where each other stands, money-wise. And it's better to sign something when you still like each other, and are more likely to be fair and generous.

If you're going to feel good about it, the process shouldn't be adversarial. "It's not, 'What can I get if things go wrong?'" says Shae Irving, co-author of Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair and Lasting Contract (as quoted in a CNN article). "It's a way to build trust (because) you're talking right up front about what's important to you."

The downside, of course, is that it's not very romantic. It could be taken as a sign of something other than 100 per cent devotion and faith. And that's why you need to be careful as to when and how you bring it up.

"The sooner the better," says Carla B. "I'd want to know right before I moved in." What about, say, five months and three weeks after moving in the guy wakes you up in the middle of the night and says, 'Hey, can you sign this? It's nothing, really, just some paperwork I had my lawyer draw up'?"

"No," she said. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Originally published by: Click by Lavalife

The Most Haunted Places - In All Of Canada

2008-10-05T09:26:00.005-06:00

In celebration of Halloween, we’re featuring the scariest and most terrifying landmarks to visit in all of Canada. Each location has its own real ghost stories, sightings, and haunted tours that take you deep into the past to explore their truly side of scary history. Shadowlands.net has compiled a list of all the most haunted places to visit across Canada if you are in need of a good fright – or a good history lesson. Happy Haunting!

Banff Springs Hotel, Alberta
- What happened to room 873? Employees of the Banff Spring Hotel claim that they are not allowed discussing the mysteriously boarded up room, but the story says that a family was murdered there in the early 1900s. The hotel was going to continue using the room but no matter how hard they cleaned one of the mirrors, fingerprints from the awful night could not be removed. Guests claim to regularly see ghosts wandering the halls and often hear voices when nobody is nearby. There is also the story of a ghost bellhop who has been known to unlock doors and even move the luggage of guests staying in the haunted hotel.

The Grange, Toronto, Ontario
- Known also as the Art Gallery of Ontario, the Grange was a home built in 1817. By 1911 the house claimed to be haunted and was turned into a public art gallery. Many visitors have claimed to have seen phantom lights, and in some cases, spirits have shown themselves in the hallways. There was one instance where a witness saw a man in a yellow velvet waistcoat walk through a wall where a door used to be. The oldest building in Toronto, the Art Galley (or the Grange), has been remodeled over the years but still remains one of the most haunted buildings in Canada.

Caledonia Mills, Nova Scotia
- The Mary Ellen Spook house is located in Caledonia Mills, Nova Scotia. In the early 1900’s, a family adopted a young girl by the name of Mary Ellen but had no idea what was in store for them. Once the girl arrived, fires started lighting themselves, even when young Mary wasn’t around. Doors would open and shut themselves, and the family would hear strange voices from the hallways. Police were eventually called in, but were baffled and a Priest was asked to come and investigate. The family eventually moved out, and the house burned to the ground. Now a landmark, some unlucky visitors to the Spook House have stolen from the remains and once home, have claimed to watch as their houses burst into flames. It is said that the only way to reverse the curse is to return the stolen artifacts to the original Mary Ellen Spook house.

The Plains of Abraham, Quebec
- In 1759, the French and English waged war on the Plains of Abraham, spilling the blood of hundreds of soldiers. The tunnels located next to the battlefield park have been said to have many ghosts who haunt them. Many people claim to smell cannon sulfur, and get chills down their backs. In the mid evening, don’t be surprised if you come face to face with one or many of the soldiers who haunt the fields and tunnels. The Plains of Abraham remains one of the most haunted areas in all of Quebec.

Saskatchewan Hospital, North Battleford - Saskatchewan
- A self-sufficient mental hospital in the 1900’s, both the staff and patients lived and died on the North Battleford grounds. In the 1930’s after one of the Hospital wings caught fire, one woman was very badly burned, and is said to haunt the grounds - burn marks still showing. The tunnels underneath the grounds connect the different buildings and are also haunted. Many of the staff members claim to walk right past ghosts while traveling through the tunnels, only to have the spirits disappear right before their eyes. Visitors also claim to hear voices, whispers, and see many ghosts within the walls of the haunted hospital. Don’t be surprised to feel chills while visiting this creepy location - you may even feel as if you are being watched.

Every place you visit has a history, and these haunted destinations are proof that some are scarier then others. Whether it is a haunted hospital, a battle ground, or famous Hotel – these frightening locations are all worth visiting. For more information on these, or many other truly haunted areas across Canada, visit http://theshadowlands.net/places/canada.htm

Please remember that all of the places mentioned need special permission to visit or investigate so don’t forget to contact each location before planning your haunted getaway.

Does your town have a haunted past? Share your local lore with us! We’ll showcase some of the scariest stories on our website, and feature the best tale in an upcoming newsletter.

Send your stories to meetthepanel@ipsos.com today!

On the web:
http://ghostshauntings.suite101.com/article.cfm/haunted_banff_springs_hotel

http://theshadowlands.net/places/canada.htm

Wish I Could Think So Quickly...

2008-09-18T10:13:00.000-06:00

A man boarded a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, 'Are all of those kids yours?'
He replied, 'No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.'

Three Thirty Three

2008-09-01T01:16:00.003-06:00

Roberta H. Para Sefchick
Prompton, Pennsylvania

If you are a non believer in God & Jesus, read this article below.
It is a reminder to us all just how strong our conection to God really
is & affirms that there definetly is a power greater than ourselves in
our universe.

When I was a little child, my dear mom would often talk to us about
how good God was. She would emphasize how great His love for us
in that He died upon the cross to save us. I remember many times my
mother explaining that Jesus was thirty-three years old when he died. She
would tell us that when we died, no matter how old we were at the time,
or what condition we were in, when we entered heaven, we would be at
Jesus' perfect age. This made a deep impression on me and I started the
habit of always saying, "Thank you, Lord," whenever I saw the number
thirty-three in honor of Jesus' great sacrifice.

My oldest son is a police officer, as is his wife, and they live quite a
distance away from us in the state of Virginia. I pray for them and for all
police officers every day. One night something happened. I had gone to
bed as normal and was sleeping peacefully when I heard my son, who
was well over a hundred miles away, urgently calling out to me, "Mom!
Mom!"

I bolted upright in bed and said "What, Joe?" The voice was so real
and sounded in such peril that my heart started pounding so hard I felt
it would burst through my chest. I knew that my son was in danger and
needed help. I looked at the clock. It said 3:33 in the morning. I started
praying for him immediately, repeating the prayer, "Jesus, I trust in Thee,
Jesus I trust in Thee," over and over until eventually I felt calm enough
to drift back to sleep.

The next morning I continued praying for him as I moved about the
house doing all the daily things that needed to be done. I would remember
again and again his calling out in the night and my heart would quicken
and I would renew my fervency in prayer for him.

Later in the day, my son called. He spoke to his dad for a long time.
I had told my husband what had happened during that night but he did not seemed that concerned. Now listening to their conversation, I could
feel that he too had become convinced that my experience was real. They
talked quite intently for some time and I could see that he was shaken.
I anxiously waited for my turn while my husband kept holding up one
finger as if to say "Wait one minute, wait one minute." Finally, he handed
the phone to me.

It was such a relief to hear my son's voice. He quickly assured me,
"Mom, I am all right…but…while I was on duty last night someone I
had stopped for a violation shot at me…. He missed."

I cannot describe to you the flood of gratitude and relief that I felt.
All I could reply was, "Oh, thank you, Lord!"

He told me more of the incident, what had happened, where he was,
and many of the details that he was allowed to share.

Then I asked, "What time did it happen, Joe?"

He replied, "About three thirty in the morning."

I think I expected this answer, even before he opened his mouth, but at
his words a huge emotion of thankfulness to God arose within me. Every
fiber of my being was drenched with gratitude. Our Lord had truly woken
me up to pray for my son's safety, and I will forever thank Him.

As soon as the call was over I went into my bedroom and got down
on my knees to thank God, over and over. Even now as I write this, every
emotion of fear, gratitude and thankfulness to God comes back. I tell
others that we are often given clues of when to think of God and that we
should always pray and thank Jesus for dying on the cross for us.

Hung Like a Horse

2008-08-22T22:45:00.003-06:00

A chick and a Horse are out for a stroll one fine Sunday afternoon, when the horse gets stuck in quicksand. "Go to the farm" says the Horse and bring back the porsche. the chick gets the porsche and drives it back. The horse grabs the rear bumper with his teeth and the chick pulls him out. Then the chick gets stuck in the quicksand. "Your too big to drive the porsche" says the chick, "so straddle this quicksand and I'll grab your jewels with my beak and then you can lift me out". This works like a charm and soon the chick is out. After pondering what has happened to them, they realize that if your hung like a Horse, you don't need a porsche to pick up chicks, just big jewels.

Living in Heaven

2008-08-15T18:50:00.000-06:00

An old miser at last goes to his reward and presents himself at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greets him with appropriate solemnity and escorts him to his new abode. Walking past numerous elegant mansions, they finally arrive at a dilapidated shack at the end of the street.

The miser, much taken aback, begins, "Why do I get a rundown shack when all of the others have fine mansions?"

"Well, sir, we did the best we could with the money you sent us."

Mile by Mile

2008-08-04T13:07:00.000-06:00

Mile by mile, it's a trial. Yard by yard, it's hard. But inch by inch, it's a cinch.

Business in Mexico

2008-07-11T12:34:00.003-06:00

Two guys decide to start a bungee jumping business in Mexico.
They travel to Mexico city and set up in a very busy square
in the heart of the city. As they are constructing the tower,
a crowd begins to assemble below. The first guy jumps.
He bounces at the end of the bungee cord, but when he comes
back up, the second guy notices he has cuts and scratches on him.
As the cord expands, he bounces again. On his second bounce, he's
bruised and bleeding. On the third bounce, his partner is able to
reel him in. He's broken several bones and is almost unconscious.
"What happened? was the cord too long?" asks the partner.
"No, the cord is fine," says the first guy. "But what the heck is
a pinata?"

The Elderly Golpher

2008-07-11T10:05:00.000-06:00

Arthur is 90-years-old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day, he arrives home looking downcast.

"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has gotten so bad that once I hit the ball, I can't even see where it goes."

His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try?"

"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three," says his wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So, the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.

He turns to the brother-in-law and asks, "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight!"

"Where did it go?" says Arthur.

"I don't remember."

Blue-Eyed Champ Paul Newman

2008-07-11T01:38:00.002-06:00

He has undoubtedly, the most famous blue eyes in the history of film.
Thanks to outstanding work in toles such as "Hud, the hustler" and, teamed
with actor Robert Redford as one half of the infamous "Butch Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid" duo, Paul Newman is one of the biggest legends the silver screen
has ever produced.
To fans of Auto Racing, he's the consummate car guy. Born in Cleveland, Ohio in
1925, Newman could very well have pursued a career with the family's sporting
goods store but college drama productions gave him a taste of the stage. The die
was cast and he decided to follow the call of the limelight.
During the 1960's, Paul Newman became a top box office drawing card. A superstar
sex symbol with several acadamy award nominations. Most recently he was the voice
of Doc Hudson in Pixar's animated smash-hit "Cars".
Far more than just a celluloid celebrity, Newman with wife Joanne Woodward-an accomplished and well respected actress in her own right - is socially and politically active. She is also a generous philanthropist, establishing the
Hole in the wall Gang camp for children with cancer. Paul Newman's own food
company started almost as a Lark, has donated over one hundred million dollars
to various charities.
Playing an Indy car driver in the 1969's winning sparked Newman's passion for racing. His first career victory in a Lotus Elan was followed by winning the President's Cup - the highest honour in amateur racing. After turning Pro in 1977,
Newman's team placed second in the world's most prestigious endurance road race,
the 24 hours of LeMans. For any race car driver, these were brillant achievements indeed. In the 1980's, Paul Newman formed his own Champ Car team with Mario Andretti
driving. Newman/Hass/Lanigan racing has won over 97 races, including several championships, titles, and series crown's
Paul Newman is behind the wheel less frequently these days but at 80 years old, he
completed the 24-hours of Daytona and still races occasionally at Lime Rock says Newman. "I'll keep driving as long as I'm competitive and as long as I don't embarrass myself."

Horoscopes - Meanings

2008-06-03T20:57:00.000-06:00

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they Want. 20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality. 11 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative.May become secretive and vague. Sensitive. Don't like details. Dreamy and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful. 8 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)
Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous. 12 years of bad Luck if you do not forward

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beautiful physically and mentally. 5 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)
Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)
Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sensitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive. 13 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)
Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argumentative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't like responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Having lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

WildLieber's Ancestral History Photo Wheel

2008-05-25T20:39:00.006-06:00

Photo Descriptions - Starting from Canadian Flag - Going Clockwise
Canadian Flag
Bulkley River-near Smithers B.C. Canada©
House of Hanover Royal Standard© - Circa 1267-1918 Succeeded
Cameron...WildLieber - Circa 2008
Prince Albert - Cam's Ancestral Cousin - Circa 1845
Cameron...WildLieber - Circa 2005
Whiskey Creek Falls - B.C. Canada
Prince Albert's Ancestral Shield©
Sleeping Beauty Mountain© - Terrace, B.C. Canada
Vetter Falls© - B.C. Canada
House of Hanover Royal Crest & Coat of Arms© -Circa 1267-1918
WildLieber's Wolfen Logo©
German National Flag
Floral Cross
Cam...WildLieber in his APS Uniform© - Circa 1990
Prince Albert's Crest & Coat of Arms©
Cam in his Livingroom
WildLieber's WWW Wolf Logo©
Queen Charlotte Sound© - NorthWest B.C. Coast
Cam's Dad & Mom - Circa 1982
WildLieber's Wolfpup Logo©
SchultenHauf© - Cam's Family Crest & Coat of Arms
German Federal Horse Flag - In Use Today
Mock Image - SchultenHauf Castle©

Oh Dear

2008-05-13T22:46:00.003-06:00

Little Sass and Jenny are only 10 years old,
but they are in Love and want to get married
Sass goes to Jenny's father to ask for her hand
Thinking this is too darn cute, Mr Satter replies
"Sass you are only 10 years old, where will you two live?"
"In Jenny's room" says Sass "It's bigger than mine
and we can both live there nicely"
"Your not old enough to work" says Mr Satter still playing
along, "How will you support Jenny?"
"Our allowances should do just fine" says Sass "she gets
five bucks and I get ten, that's about sixty dollars a
month. We should be able to live just fine on that"
How can I stump this young fellow thinks Mr Satter
"That is wonderful" says Mr Satter "but what will you do
if you two have children of your own?"
Sass shrugs his shoulders and replies "So far we've
been lucky."

Love is what happens...

2008-05-13T22:45:00.000-06:00

Love is not a matter of what happens in life. It's a matter of what's happening in your heart.
--Ken Keyes

The $10,000 Phone Call

2008-05-11T17:43:00.001-06:00

An American Decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando , thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from South to North.

On his first day he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read '$10,000 per call'.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 you could talk to God.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta . There, at a very large cathedral, he saw the same golden telephone with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him that it was a direct line to heaven and that for $10,000 he could talk to God.

'O.K., thank you,' said the American .

He then traveled to Indianapolis , Washington DC , Philadelphia , Boston and New York.

In every church he saw the same golden telephone
with the same '$10,000 per call' sign under it.

The American, upon leaving Vermont decided to travel up to Canada to see if Canadians had the same phone.

He arrived in Canada , and again, in the first church he entered, there was the same golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read '40 cents per call.'

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign. 'Father, I've traveled all over America and I've seen this same golden telephone in many churches. I'm told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in the US the price was $10,000 per call.

Why is it so cheap here?'

The priest smiled and answered, 'You're in Canada now, son - it's a local call'.

Seeing The Sun, The Moon, And The Stars

2008-04-20T23:21:00.001-06:00

Seeing the sun, the moon, and the stars, I said to myself, "Who could be the Master of these beautiful things?" I felt a great desire to see him, to know him, and to pay him homage.
~ St. Josephine Bakhita ~

Poor Mans Rolls

2008-04-18T13:11:00.002-06:00

A man from British Columbia, driving a Volkswagen Beetle, pulls up next to a guy in an Alberta licensed Rolls Royce at a traffic light. Their windows are open and he yells at the guy in the Rolls, "Hey, you got a telephone in that Rolls?"

The guy in the Rolls says, "Yes, of course I do!"

"I got one too. See?" the BC'er says.

"Uh huh, yes, that's very nice."

"You got a fax machine?" asks the BC'er.

"Why, actually, yes, I do."

"I do too! See? It's right here!" brags the BC'er.

The light is just about to turn green and the guy in the Volkswagen says, "So, do you have a double bed in the back?"

The guy in the Rolls replies, "No! Do you?"

"Yep, got my double bed right back here," the BC'er replies.

The light turns green and the man in the Volkswagen takes off.

Well, the guy in the Rolls is not about to be one-upped, so he immediately goes to a customizing shop and orders them to put a double bed in the back of his car.

About two weeks later, the job is finally done. He picks up his car and drives all over town looking for the Volkswagen Beetle with the BC plates. Finally, he finds it parked alongside the road, so he pulls his Rolls up next to it.

The windows on the Volkswagen are all fogged up and he feels somewhat awkward about it, but he gets out of his newly modified Rolls and taps on the foggy window of the Volkswagen.

The man in the Volkswagen finally opens the window a crack and peeks out.

The guy with the Rolls says, "Hey, remember me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I remember you," replies the BC'er. "What's up?"

"Check this out! I got a double bed installed in my Rolls."

The BC'er exclaims, "You got me out of the shower to tell me that?!"

To Live Without Prayer

2008-04-10T21:41:00.000-06:00

If man is man and God is God, to live without prayer is not merely an awful thing: it is an infinitely foolish thing.
--Phillips Brooks

Shoe Repair

2008-04-06T23:35:00.000-06:00

A guy and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over 11 years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be at the shop?" the man asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," he said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped in the car and drove to the shoe shop.

With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter.

With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.

Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding," the customer called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time?"

The man came back to the counter, empty handed. "They'll be ready on Thursday," he said calmly.

5 Minute Management Course

2008-04-06T23:23:00.002-06:00

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift..

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish..'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy..
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Simon of Cyrene helps Jesus to carry his cross

2008-03-17T23:07:00.001-06:00

No. I do not want to pick up the Cross. What will people think of me? They will look on me as either a criminal on the way to execution, or else they will mock me for having been in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was obvious that Jesus of Nazareth is rapidly becoming weaker and would have no chance of reaching Calvary unaided. Many of us saw the soldiers looking for a man who could take on the burden of the Cross, taking it from the shoulders of Jesus so that he could still make it to his place of execution.

I must have just happened to catch the eye of the nearest soldier. I was trying to avoid exactly that. I was merely curious to see why so many people had gathered to watch one captive on his way to Calvary. It seems that my curiosity was enough for the guards to decide to satisfy it in the most humiliating way possible. Were they trying to assist a victim or to find a second whom they could humiliate?

This wooden beam is quite heavy but not unmanageable and will form the crossbeam from which Jesus will be suspended. I suppose it has to be reasonably lightweight because otherwise, how could one man even lift it, never mind carry it? But, then, I am fit and strong. I imagine that for someone who has been beaten and scourged, it must be an unbearable burden, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

His load has been passed on to me and I am not happy about it. I am not an unfeeling, selfish person, but what will people think when they see me trudging through Jerusalem, surrounded by guards, heading towards Calvary? It is all very well to help Jesus, but I do have my own reputation to consider.

Perhaps one of the reasons why I was selected for this job is because I am a foreigner. I think that the Romans would not have given the responsibility to a Jew in case there should be an outcry. The Romans are, after all, an occupying force and they have oppressed Israel for quite some time now, inflicting heavy taxes and exacting relentless obedience to a law that is not theirs. The Jews are tiring of seeing their own people injured and killed and so I think that, if the Romans had chosen to humiliate a second innocent Jew today, there could have been a revolt. Jerusalem is filled with people who have come to celebrate the Passover. Any uprising would spread like wildfire and soon become unmanageable.

No. It must be that the Romans actually needed someone who was not a Jew, someone on whom they could dump a job that nobody else wanted. Their action also saved the Temple authorities from the task of lodging a complaint with Pilate. It would not look good for them to condemn one innocent man and then, at the same time, to argue against the ill-treatment of another, all in the same few hours.

So, here I am, a completely innocent stranger, here only because I wanted to conduct some business in Jerusalem whilst there were so many people around the city. Even the soldiers laughed when they saw my disgust, not only at being forced to take up the cross, but to actually handle the wood, sticky with blood. That is why I was none too gentle as I took the Cross from the shoulders of the Galilean. I suppose I might even have added to his pain. After all, he was the cause of my embarrassment, shame and hardship, even if I need only walk a short distance to Calvary, a short distance that, to me, would feel considerably longer as I carried the unsought burden of someone else.

Yes, I was disgruntled and more or less dragged the Cross from Jesus. I heard his gasp of pain that gave way to a low moan. I saw that my roughness caused more bleeding, but who was I to care? It was his fault that I was about to suffer and so he must suffer the consequences. That is justice, is it not?

...and then, Jesus looked at me. I cannot describe that glance. It was an apology for the consequences that I must experience on his behalf. It was gratitude for having, even unwillingly, taken up his Cross. It was relief that at least part of his burden was removed from his shoulders. It was an agony of pain, desolation and loneliness: as if he felt that he had been abandoned even in the midst of the crowd. There was a strange determination to continue along the Via Crucis even to Calvary, at whatever the cost.

I can think of no other way to describe the effect of my taking the Cross of Jesus upon my own shoulders than to say that, even in his agony, he now walks more erect and more determined than ever to see this through to the bitter end. His head, though bowed by suffering, is not conveying subjugation so much as a sense of taking part in something far beyond anything that I, or anybody else, can either see or understand. In the midst of the rowdy bystanders, there is almost a pool of silence and tranquillity, which sounds a contradiction because the actual level of noise has not diminished for one instant. Quite simply, I have no words that can describe exactly what happened when I lifted the Cross from Jesus and took it upon myself.

Neither can I describe what is happening to me as I walk with him and, like him, stumble on the way. Yes. I feel ashamed, but no longer because of what others might think, but, rather, because of my earlier unwillingness to help and my desire to be anywhere other than close to Jesus. I am ashamed of myself, not for myself, and that is the difference. No longer do I care what the crowd is saying about me. I am merely sorry that I took so long to accept the Cross.

I will never forget this day. Jesus has changed me forever.

God bless,
Simon of Cyrene

What a man is...

2008-03-05T23:36:00.001-07:00

If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.
--Yugoslav proverb

Treasure the Love

2008-03-05T23:34:00.000-07:00

Treasure the love you have received above all. It will survive long after your gold and good health have vanished.
--Unknown

Human Tetris with Bikini Chicks

2008-03-05T19:46:00.000-07:00

Tetris Ninjas

2008-03-05T19:41:00.001-07:00

Programa Tetris

2008-03-05T19:37:00.000-07:00

Stupid Tetris

2008-03-05T19:33:00.001-07:00

Human Tetris - The Grand Master

2008-03-05T19:30:00.000-07:00

Crazy Asian Tetris Game Show

2008-03-05T19:19:00.001-07:00

Human Tetris is back!

2008-03-05T19:16:00.001-07:00

New Human Tetris

2008-03-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

Another Human Tetris Game

2008-03-05T19:10:00.000-07:00

Human tetris - Suicide Style

2008-03-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

Human Tetris III

2008-03-05T19:05:00.001-07:00

Hunan Tetris II

2008-03-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

Human Tetris

2008-03-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

2008-03-05T18:48:00.002-07:00

The Human Tetris - Grand Master

2008-03-05T18:45:00.002-07:00

The Human Tetris

2008-03-05T18:39:00.000-07:00

Love until it hurts

2008-03-04T23:55:00.000-07:00

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.
~Mother Teresa~

FEBRUARY - The worst month of the year

2008-02-17T17:25:00.004-07:00

~Please note~ I did not write this, I am just re-posting it. See my added note at the bottom.

February is the worst month of the year.

Though February is the shortest month, it seems like the longest month. February this year, unlike most years, has twenty-nine long, dark, crummy days. We're being punished with an extra day of clouds, snow, and cold. How lovely.

Why didn't the folks who designed the Calendar stick the extra day of leap year in April or September? The were Sadists, that's why. The stuck it to us is what they did. The added it to the worst possible month of the year and snickered about it.

Adding a day to April or September would have been fair. Those of us who live in the northern hemisphere would get an extra day of spring, those living in the southern hemisphere would get an extra day of fall. Then we'd flip-flop. Cool deal! It's not fair the way it is. People in Australia get a leap summer this year and we get stuck with a leap winter. We're so lucky.

By the time February is over, it will seem like it was sixty-two days long. To those of us who live in the Midwestern United States, February would be too long if it had only nine days. I'm for banishing February altogether. We should go back to having ten months a year, like the Romans. February and November need to go. We should have kept Latin and banned February. You can't even get good oysters in February.

On the other hand, if there were no other months except February, we'd all live to be 622 years old - or so it would seem. By the time we got to the middle of the month, we'd all be ready to meet our Maker - looking forward to it. I bet the suicide rate would run amok if all we had to look forward to, day after day, was another day of February.

February is a cruel, cold, contentious month. Though it is the month that brings us Valentine's day, it has no heart. It is the mean, odious, step-mother of months. It leads us slowly and painfully wiggling into March. That's when spring is supposed to begin. Ah, but March is a but a windy flirt. The calendar says spring begins on March 21. The calendar lies. If you're older than five you already know what mendacious document the calendar is. It even lies about our age.

February, is a loathsome month of wall-to-wall clouds, damp, cold air, snow, rain, sleet, rain and ice. It's a month that strings together twenty-nine amaranthine days of churlish, bone-chilling, gnarly weather. Spring seems is so near you can almost imagine it - yet it is so far away. Then, when we get through all sixty-two days of February, we'll get bashed in the mouth by a windy, cold, rainy, morose March. The only admirable quality that March has is that it will throw a few bones at us - a few sweet, tempting, teaser days to make us forget what a horrid month it really is. At least it's not February though.

I think I do like winter though -at least the first two months of it. I can't imagine spending Christmas morning barbequing ribs, sitting around on the patio in my Speedo, opening up a new tie.

February is the last full month of winter and the longest of them all. The best thing we have going for us in February is the world's largest rat who lives in Punxsutawney Pennsylvania. He's the fat, prescient rat that who tells us how many more weeks of winter we have left.

I don't need a big rat to tell me. I already know. We have at least ten more weeks of winter. Now you think I'm the big rat, don't you?

If you live in the northern parts of the northern hemisphere, you know what I'm saying. If you live in Australia, New Zealand, or some place else in the southern hemisphere, you've got major problems with February too.

Did you ever think that you're actually being cheated out of three days of summer? February falls during your summer. It is your last full month of summer. You normally have 28 days in your last full month of summer. Our last full month of summer is August and it ALWAYS has 31 days. See what I'm saying? This year you've got a leap summer. I bet you're happy. You still get cheated out of two days of summer though - thanks to February.

I hate leap years. They make February longer. It is long enough with twenty-eight days in it. We don't need to add another day to it.

February does have some bright spots in it, if you work for the government, schools, or banks, that is. If you're one of those lucky souls you probably love February, despite the fact that the sun never shines and February's frigid fingers dig deep into your shriveled, winter-dry skin. Still you probably rejoice because February is riddled with holidays for you: Ground Hog's Day, MLK day, Valentine's Day, and President's day. Banks close for every holiday known to man. Groundhog's Day and Valentine's Day off aren't on the litany of bank holidays yet are they? I'm sure they will be soon.

Speaking of President's day, it might be called Presidents' Day but I have never yet met anyone who sits around and ponders the good deeds, good words, heroics or exploits of George or Abraham. President's Day is not exactly Super Bowl Sunday is it? Hey! Come on over, I'm making pigs-in-a-blanket, and tacos - got beer and soda. I'm having a President's Day party- bring your top hat. Ain't gonna happen - although having President's Day party makes just about as much sense as having a Stupid Bowl Party. A bunch of indolent partying types sitting around watching 43 minutes of football, 97 minutes of commercials and 112 minutes of fat men sitting around telling you what you just watched.

I'll bet that most of you who work for the government, schools, or banks, will be eagerly thumbing through newspapers looking for Presidents' Day Sales. I also bet that those of you who are off that day will not spend a second of it pondering the greatness of two American presidents or attending ceremonies honoring them. I bet none of you come to my Presidents Day Party and eating a few of my gourmet pigs-in-a-blanket.

President's Day Sales are inane and obvious attempts to induce you to part with your hard-earned money. Still, though we all know that, retailers win.

Poor old George and Abraham are rolling over in their graves. Who would have thought that George Washington and Abraham Lincoln would have been reduced to being silly symbols for something so absurd as a ladies' toiletries sale?

Oh yes! Let's not forget "Valentine's Day". It's supposed to be a day of romance, love, and sweet whispers. Really though, at least in my cynical mind, it's a way for Hallmark, American Greetings, other purveyors of cardboard poetry to make oodles of wampum.

According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year. This makes Valentine's Day the second biggest "card-sending" holiday of the year - right behind Christmas with 2.6 billion cards. 85% of all Valentine's Day cards are sent by women. I have no comment on that.

Let's not forget the candy, candles, "romantic items" and other Valentine's Day goodies that line store shelves from the day after Christmas through the 14th of February. Sigh. The Valentine's Day ruse is a marketers dream. It's MONEY, not romance that keeps Valentine's Day alive.

Just in case you think I'm somehow anti-romantic or picking on women, I'm not.

One of the worst things about February is the "Super Bowl". A football game interrupted by 5 minute commercials, a one-hour halftime, and ridiculous 3 minute "TV timeouts". If I were a football coach I wouldn't even want to play in that circus.

The Super Bowl is just a game between two teams that have probably already played each other twice before in the same. It's a game that's covered relentlessly by the media for weeks and weeks. We get to watch mentally-challenged, 400-pound, lineman tell us why they like Brittany Speers, John McCain, Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, or Axe Shower Gel.

The Super Bowl is not a game. It's more hype and hoopla than sport - more schlock than substance. Most of us won't even remember who was in the Super Bowl by April -let alone what teams played in it.

Lots of people watch the Super Bowl to see all the beautiful people who will be in attendance. They'll all be there because if you're somebody, anybody at all, you're required to make an appearance at "The Super Bowl". I won't be there. I'm not important.

The Super Bowl: The height of American SUPERficiality.

I would mention that February is a big month for NASCAR - but you don't even want to hear what I think about that.

Besides the interminably long string of sunless, damp, intractable, bitter days that February brings, the tantalizing thought of spring on the horizon, and the merciless brutal continuation of dreadful winter weather - I have even more reasons to dislike February.

Its 62 days are neatly packed into a calendar of 29 days this year. It's not right and it's not fair. It's voodoo. February is a surly, sinister joke nature plays on us in the Midwest every single year.

I can't change the calendar and I can't change the weather so I always try to accept things as they are. But I have a hard time accepting the cruel and heartless month of February. It's the one month of the year that I don't like at all. It has no redeeming qualities.

Except that it brings us one month closer to spring.

~Cam...WildLieber's note~
I myself am Happy this February, as it is a LeapYear
I have a very dear ladyfriend who lives in Northern Europe
and according to tradition on a leapyear, I must either buy
her a dress or Marry her. Personally, I would rather marry her,
then buy her the dress as I am head over heels in love with this
lady. She is such a beautiful person and wants to be here with me
so very much but it is going to cost me big bucks to get her here so
we must wait till I can afford financially to get her here. Hopefully
I will have a big tax return this year. Sweet dreams to you my
Darling Yuliana.

The Wooden Bowl

2008-02-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Never take someone for granted
Hold Every person close to your heart
Because you might wakeup one day
And realize that you've lost a Diamond
While you were too busy collecting stones...

The Wooden Bowl

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl
tomorrow, a week from now, a month from now, a year from now.

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.

The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and
failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor.
When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.
'We must do something about father,' said the son.
'I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.'

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner.
There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner.
Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl.

When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone.
Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, 'What are you making?' Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
'Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.
' The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless.
Then tears started to stream down their cheeks.
Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason,
neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

On a positive note, I've learned that, no matter what happens,
how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents,
you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as making a 'life..'

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.
You need to be able to throw something back

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you
But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others,
your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you

I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.

People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about .I just did.

FRIENDSHIP CANDLE

NOTICE AT THE END,
THE DATE THE CANDLE WAS STARTED.
GONNA GIVE YOU GOOSE BUMPS.

I am not going to be the one who lets it die. I found it believable --
angels have walked beside me all my life--and they still do

*********************

This is to all of you who
mean something to me,
I pray for your happiness.
The Candle Of Love, Hope & Friendship

This candle was lit on the
15th of September, 1998

Someone who loves you has helped
keep it alive by sending it to you.

Don't let The Candle of Love, Hope and Friendship die
This candle has been burning for almost ten years
Let's keep it burning for ten more, and ten more...

Pass It On To All Of Your Friends
and Everyone You Love!
May God richly bless you!
May he watch over you
and keep you safe from harm

The Three Little Pigs

2008-02-13T21:03:00.001-07:00

Three little pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came to take their drink order.

"I would like a Sprite," said the first little piggy.

"I would like a Coke," said the second little piggy.

"I want water. Lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter takes their orders for dinner.

"I want a nice big steak," said the first piggy.

"I would like the salad plate," said the second piggy.

"I want water. Lots and lots of water," said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and awhile later, the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

"I want a banana split," said the first piggy.

"I want a root beer float," said the second piggy.

"I want water. Lots and lots of water," exclaimed the third little piggy.

"Pardon me for asking," said the waiter to the third little piggy, "but why have you only ordered water all evening?"

The third piggy says, "Well, somebody has to go wee, wee, wee all the way home!"

SandPiper To Bring You Joy

2008-02-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

She was six-years-old when I first met her on the beach near where I live. I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the world begins to close in on me. She was building a sand castle or something and looked up; her eyes as blue as the sea.

"Hello," she said.

I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.

"I'm building," she said.

"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not really caring.

"Oh, I don't know. I just like the feel of sand."

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes.

A sandpiper glided by.

"That's a joy," the child said.

"It's a what?"

"It's a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy."

The bird went gliding down the beach. "Good-bye joy," I muttered to myself, "hello pain," and turned to walk on. I was depressed and my life seemed completely out of balance.

"What's your name?" She wouldn't give up.

"Robert," I answered. "I'm Robert Peterson."

"Mine's Wendy. I'm six."

"Hi, Wendy."

She giggled. "You're funny," she said.

In spite of my gloom, I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.

"Come again, Mr. P," she called. "We'll have another happy day!"

The next few days consisted of a group of unruly Boy Scouts, PTA meetings and an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I took my hands out of the dishwater. "I need a sandpiper," I said to myself, gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me. The breeze was chilly, but I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed.

"Hello, Mr. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.

"I don't know. You say."

"How about charades?" I asked sarcastically.

The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don't know what that is."

"Then let's just walk."

Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked.

"Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter.

"Where do you go to school?"

"I don't go to school. Mommy says we're on vacation."

She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day. Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and felt like demanding she keep her child at home.

"Look, if you don't mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me, "I'd rather be alone today."

She seemed unusually pale and out of breath.

"Why?" she asked.

I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" And then I thought, "My God, why was I saying this to a little child?

"Oh," she said quietly. "Then this is a bad day."

"Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and, oh, just go away!"

"Did it hurt?" she inquired.

"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself.

"When she died?"

"Of course it hurt!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself. I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn't there. Feeling guilty, ashamed, and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked on the door. A drawn looking young woman with honey-colored hair opened the door.

"Hello," I said. "I'm Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today and wondered where she was."

"Oh, yes, Mr. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I'm afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please accept my apologies."

"Not at all! She's a delightful child." I said, suddenly realizing I meant what I had just said.

"Wendy died last week, Mr. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn't tell you."

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. I had to catch my breath.

"She loved this beach, so when she asked to come, we couldn't say no. She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days. But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly," her voice faltered. "She left something for you, if only I can find it. Could you wait a moment while I look?"

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something to say to this lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope with "MR. P." printed in bold childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues: a yellow beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide. I took Wendy's mother in my arms. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," I uttered over and over, and we wept together.

The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six words, one for each year of her life, that speak to me of harmony, courage, and undemanding love. A gift from a child with sea blue eyes and hair the color of sand, who taught me the gift of love.

* I found this story so emotionally moving that I had to print it for all to see and enjoy.
~ WildLieber ~

2008-02-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

If we could read the secret history of our enemies,
we should find in each man's life, sorrow and
suffering enough to disarm all hostility.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

2008-02-05T21:40:00.001-07:00

Every one must study his own nature. Some of you can sustain life with less food than others can, and therefore I desire that he who needs more nourishment shall not be obliged to equal others, but that every one shall give his body what it needs for being an efficient servant of the soul. For as we are obliged to be on our guard against superfluous food which injures body and soul alike, thus we must be on the watch against immoderate fasting, and this the more, because the Lord wants conversion and not victims.
~ Francis of Assisi ~

2008-02-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
~ Mother Teresa ~

Electoral Hell

2008-02-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Jacob dies and goes to Hell. When he arrives there he sees a sign that says "Welcome to the New Democrat Socialist Hell" Another sign says "Welcomr to the Conservative Hell".
Jacob asks the guard "What do they do to you in the New Democrat Socialist hell?" "They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack and stretch you," replies the guard. "And what do they do to you in the Conservatives Hell?" asks Jacob. Same thing says the guard.
"So why then" asks Jacob "is everybody in line for the New Democrats Socialist Hell?" "Because in a Socialist hell" replies the guard, "they're always out of oil, whips, and racks.

I Need Dentures

2008-02-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

The orthodontist and his assistants were removing my ten-year-old's dental appliance. Because it was cemented to his upper teeth, they had to use some pressure to release it. When it finally popped out, three baby teeth came out as well. My child was horrified at seeing the gaps.

"Well," my child said to the staff gathered around, "who do I see about getting some dentures?"