Jacob dies and goes to Hell. When he arrives there he sees a sign that says "Welcome to the New Democrat Socialist Hell" Another sign says "Welcomr to the Conservative Hell".
Jacob asks the guard "What do they do to you in the New Democrat Socialist hell?" "They boil you in oil, whip you, and then put you on the rack and stretch you," replies the guard. "And what do they do to you in the Conservatives Hell?" asks Jacob. Same thing says the guard.
"So why then" asks Jacob "is everybody in line for the New Democrats Socialist Hell?" "Because in a Socialist hell" replies the guard, "they're always out of oil, whips, and racks.
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