Most of us know on a subconscious level the kind
of vehicle we own says a lot about who we are.
It's often easy to determine interests, marital
status, age and income from the type of vehicles
we drive.
AMC Pacer
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Usually we aim to have our cars exude the best about
us - or at least what we want people to think is the
best about us. That's why men going through mid-life
crises go for a Ferrari or a Corvette: it's about power
and virility. Ambitious Bay Street types drive off the
lot with Jaguars, BMWs or Japan's crème de la crème.
In this case it's different as it's all about the dough.
Singles looking to hook up usually opt for what's marketed
as sexy, cute and exciting even if the people behind the
wheel are anything but.
Gallery: Cars that will keep you single
There's a flip-side to this though: what about the cars
that are sure to leave you in permanent celibacy? Get
behind the wheel of some of these beauties and you may
as well spend your Saturday nights watching Star Trek
re-runs while playing Second Life online:
Minivans, especially the Dodge Caravan
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Dodge Caravan
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I'm sure that the minivan is great for a weekend getaway
with the boys to a football game, or shepherding kids to
hockey practice as it has tons of room for you, passengers,
and their luggage. The minivan is known as the people-mover
designed for maximum interior room. Sadly, Chrysler wasn't
focused on making it appear cool and attractive to the
opposite sex.
Chevrolet Camaro (third-generation)
-----------------------------------
The third-generation Camaro, launched in 1982, was the
first Camaro to feature throttle body fuel injection
and a four-speed automatic transmission. This generation
also spawned the much noted IROC-Z. Although cool in its
day, if you are still driving a Camaro around these days
with the bikini-icon air freshener while blasting AC/DC
from your cassette player, you'd certainly grab people's
attention - the wrong type of attention.
Chrysler Dynasty
----------------
The name Dynasty is believed to be a reference to the
popular 1980s primetime TV series Dynasty, though, in
all likelihood it's a reference to Chrysler's
luxury-themed vehicles such as the Imperial and New York.
In reality, the Dynasty has a much different image. Actor
Bryan Cranston, who played the character Hal on the TV
series "Malcolm in the Middle," drives a blue Dodge Dynasty.
So unless you want to give off a persona like Hal (miserably
married with three troublesome kids), or let people
know you actually hit your peak in the 80s, I suggest you
stay away from the nasty Dynasty.
E-350 Econoline
---------------
The Ford E-Series and Club Wagon currently holds 49.6
per cent of the full-size van market in the North America.
It has been the best-selling North American full-sized van
for the last 26 years. But that doesn't mean you should ever,
under any circumstance, bring a date out in one of these vans.
Unless you want to look like a garden-variety stalker or an
airport shuttle-bus chauffeur.
Geo Metro (Pontiac Firefly/Suzuki Swift)
----------------------------------------
Geo Metro Sedan
---------------
Geo's Metro - also sold as the Suzuki Swift and the
Pontiac Firefly in Canada - was GM's subcompact
offering through the '90s. Slightly larger than the
Chevrolet Sprint it replaced, it boasted more safety
and convenience features, though you never really felt
"safe" while driving the Metro. One of the most
fuel-efficient vehicles in its day, it personifies the
term frugal. No wait, make that cheap.
Pontiac Fiero
--------------
Pontiac's Fiero was the first - and only - mass-produced
mid-engined two-seat sports car produced by a domestic
automaker. Certainly, it seemed worthy of its
name - Fiero means "proud" in Italian. However, not all went
well. The Fiero suffered reliability issues include
problems with engine fires. It has been labeled by some
as an icon of its time; unfortunately that puts it in the
same category as should puffy shoulder pads, leg warmers and
big hair.
Pontiac Aztek
-------------
The Aztek was marketed as a car-based "crossover SUV,"
with popular amenities, adequate cargo capacity,
elevated seating height all wrapped up in an active
outdoor-lifestyle theme.
While it had fewer drawbacks associated with traditional
SUVs (poor gas mileage, uncomfortable ride, high step-in
height, a penchant for rollovers), the designers forgot
one thing: styling a vehicle that didn't look like it
belonged in a post-apocalypse movie.
Toyota Corolla
--------------
In 1997, the Toyota Corolla became the bestselling car
in the world, with over 30 million sold as of 2007. Over
the past 40 years, one Toyota Corolla car has been sold
on average every 40 seconds. That sounds good, but
consider what you're saying to the world: "Hey, babe,
I'm just the same as 30 million other people!"
Most relics from the 1970s
--------------------------
It was a decade that brought lots of great, cool things:
Jaws, Led Zeppelin, the personal computer, and the Walkman.
It also brought some not-so-great stuff: Watergate,
ultra-wide lapels and disco. Add to that last
list a host of cars that shouldn't have been released in the
first place: AMC's dynamic duo of the Pacer and Gremlin,
Chevrolet's Chevette,the Buick Regal and Ford's Pinto.
-------------------------------------------------------
Ruin Your Date With These Movies
By Stephanie McGrath
Talk about Knocked Up, not When Harry Met Sally
If I may paraphrase from the flick / book High Fidelity
for a moment: it’s not intense conversations about our
political or religious beliefs that really get the
chemistry clicking on a first date. Nothing electrifies
the air between two potentially-interested-in-each-other
individuals like the magical discovery that: We like the
same movies! We’ve read the same books! We were both at
that Radiohead concert in 2000 so, OMG, it must be fate!
Yes dear friends, pop culture can stoke the flames of
love. With this in mind, we’d like to send you off on
your next hook-up with some notes about movies you
SHOULD NOT admit to adoring during your initial
meet-and-greet. You can like them in private, and if
your relationship stands the test of time ... then and
only then, can you pull those embarrassing DVDs out of
your closet and show them off.
Star Trek
---------
So ... you’re out for a glass of wine and maybe some
snacks. Your date looks lovely by candlelight. You
lean over and whisper “I am SO excited for the next
Star Trek flick ... but can you believe William Shatner
isn’t going to be in it?” NO! WRONG! ABORT, ABORT! If you
really like sci-fi/ space flicks and you want to test the
waters, how about you try a hipster approach like this:
“Joss Whedon is so underrated. I mean, forget Buffy, how
awesome was Firefly and the movie Serenity?” This lets you
acknowledge your sci-fi addiction, while seeming cool at
the same time.
When Harry Met Sally
--------------------
Sure, you watch this over and over when you’re sick or
just hanging out on a rainy afternoon. But nobody needs
to know. Want a turn off? Here’s one: “I LOVE that
movie ... it’s so true, friends really make the best
partners. And that restaurant scene? Hilarious.” Ick.
Nothing wrong with a little romance, but if you want to
reveal your dreamy side but stay cool at the same time,
how about something along the lines of: “You know who’s
a comedic genius? Judd Apatow. 40 Year Old Virgin? Awesome.
Superbad? Fab. Knocked Up? I mean you’ve got to hand it to
a guy who can make a romantic comedy that doesn’t put you
into sugar shock.” See what I did right there? Admitted to
liking romantic comedy while at the same time displaying
my appreciation for raunchy humour.
Armageddon
----------
So you like explosions. Who doesn’t? But admitting
love for Aerosmith, Ben Affleck and expeditions to
drill things in outer space does not a good impression
make. Want to admit a fascination for Bruce Willis
flicks? Try this: “Okay, it may be cheesy, but there’s
nothing like a Die Hard marathon in the middle of a
snowstorm. Yipee Ki Yay and all that.” See? You sound
nonchalant whilst at the same time admitting your
affection for big budget blockbusters.
Orson Welles directs Citizen Kane,
Citizen Kane
------------
Yes, we all like to sound knowledgeable and yes, Citizen
Kane is considered by most to be the finest film ever made.
HOWEVER, there is a fine line between being a well-versed
movie fan and being obnoxiously pretentious. Waxing
intellectual about Citizen Kane? Over the top. Don’t do it.
Want to sound smart and reference some classics? Joke about
your love of Hitchcock and how watching Psycho as a child
made you fear showers as an adult or get all tough and go
on a Goodfellas/Taxi Driver tangent for a bit. Just avoid
the Kane!
Steel Magnolias
---------------
Just don’t go there. Please. We all like a good cry now
and then but admitting you love this movie is just
embarrassing for everyone. If you must admit affection
for Julia Roberts, say something like, “Every now and
then I like to kick it old school and watch Mystic Pizza.”
If Dolly Parton is your game, how about “9 to 5 is hilarious,
nothing like a little retro comedy.”
Here are a few more films we’d prefer you not share your love
for on a first date:
Anything by the Wayans
Anything in the post- Fisher King Robin Williams era
Godfather III (cause that’s just baaaaaaaaaaad)
Hugh Grant movies
The Notebook
Movie musicals
And go easy on the comic book movie talk. A little
is okay,but don’t start going on and on and on about
various films’
loyalty to their origins.
Here are a few films that are good conversation starters:
Better Off Dead (hilarious John Cusack action)
Being John Malkovich
Lost in Translation
Swingers
Eastern Promises
Cheesy horror films
Pan’s Labyrinth
Ghost Busters
Good luck! Happy pop culture meshing!
SchultenHauf's personal comment about above article
Herr Schulta - Cam
In my opinion of theses two above articles:
Althought this comment 'Cars that will keep you single'
is very entertaining, I think it holds no true value
in a free society such as Canada, USA, etc. It is true
that there are a lot of lemon cars out there but what
about freedom of choice. Isaac Adam Hands would like
to believe that we must drive a car that says we are
oh so very sexy all the time and that we are a super
stud so as to attract the ladies. Who says we want to
portray that. Some of us in society just want to live
and let live. We want to do our thing and don't want
to be bothered with all the hype over whos getting the
girl and whos getting laid tonight. And personally,
who the hell gives a damn anyway. Any woman or man for
that matter who is looking for a mate solely based on
how much money they have or how much wealth they have
isnt worth a fiddlers fart anyway and is likely to dump
their present man or woman as soon as something more
prosperous comes along. You can't take it with you so
enjoy what YOU WANT to drive.
As for Stephanie McGrath's article about 'Ruin your date
with these movies' who cares, a movie is a movie and
like most people, I like some and dislike others, so watch
what you and your date likes. These two people Isaac and
Stephanie both belong in a communistic society where
government dictates what you can and can't do. It is high
time they both face reality and realize that people will
do as they wish, not as they should do to make their life
all rosy. We do not live in a rose garden and besides my
dear I did not promise you a rose garden and quite frankly,
I don't give a damn. What do I drive you might ask.
I drive a 2004 40th Anniversary Limited Edition Ford Mustang
Convertible. It is deep red or maroon
with a wide grey stripe running across the hood. Now how
goshe is that? and yes, it did get me the girl. We are
getting married on April 10th 2009 and what is more
interesting is she loves me for me, not my car or wealth and
she loves Ford Mustangs as well and wants her own some day.
How Cool!
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